Ok. I've posted at main discussion, but I want more answers.
I've known a girl for 3 years. She has fallen in love with me 3 years ago confessed and when I wanted to get into relationship with her, she backed off with lame ass excuse of being afraid breaking the friendship down. I was down etc etc, so 3 years later after changing almost from the root. She started flirting again telling me how I grown into a man etc. She was all the time a great emotional support. Also a big pain in the ass because of fights we had.
So we got together. And everything was great. Then she started acting a lot more free. She put her friend who she knew 1 month in front of me. Her friend would call me out for being ugly or something and I would reply to her she's fat. My gf would immideatly attack me for 'attacking her friend' , that started turning me off.
Then she confessed she's going on school trip and she will be in a room with 2 guys who were her school friends. 7 days.
Not only that but her ex boyfriend(6 months) who gives her private french lessons was still there.
That got me and I ended it everything.
Day later I told her she got 3 days to change something about it if she wants to get back in relationship and she remained silent. So after 3 days I told her we're done.
I went no contact with her but she in one of hang outs met my friend who was a drummer and well they got to know each other. At first I thought he was on my side. And by his tales she was seeking revenge, spitting on me etc. And in return I would spit back and he would tell her that.
After somehow I talked with my ex we found out this guy was worsening our connections. He backfired.
But there was something. I went into the hunt with other girls and I got another girls number in meantime.
So I talked with my ex one night about everything how she felt etc. ( i was still thinking she cheated on me, like 30 % of me thought that) , and I told her I will date other girls and won't make move to reunite with her until she comes back from her sea trip.
So I went out with this girl , got her in 17 minutes(made out) and we were going great etc. Second date was good. Then she flaked me 2 times for going out. We were supposed to meet and 1 hour before that she would say ' i was supposed to meet with my friends ' bla bla. So i told her to organize herself and call me. 3 weeks later she called and we kissed like 2 minutes out of 3 hours spent together. 2 day before she called me I found another girl which was more of a one night stand ( no sex thank you ). After all this I just decided to go celibate until ex comes back. I was already going sick of the girl i took her number, since she was static, unmotivated, a drug user, and simply, emotionless. She never gave me a hug, nor a kiss. You know. She would just stare at me like a psycho. Last time I was kissing with her I was imagening my ex.
With the ex i was really getting closer every day. Texting etc. She also started showing extreme jealousy of other girls and I didn't want to tell her about girls I dated. So I got sick and she started showering me every day to ask me how am I and to get better soon. She even got sick.
That really hit me in the head and it was a gesture I have never seen from her. She was always cold blooded. Never got a hug from her. Nor a kiss which I wouldn't initiate. And then this motherly care ?
I don't care about those two girls, some people know about the things I had with them which weren't serious, but many people are jealous because my ex is pretty ( although I see her as average girl, beauty in my eyes lasts 3 hours, then I don't care.), and I am afraid someone will tell her ( or even lie even more than it actually happened).
In this time I feel like I cheated my ex, we act like as we are in a relationship, showing jealousy if someone is around flirting. I want to be honest with her. But she might feel she was 'used as reserve' and go away . That's not something I want since this girl is showing her heart more than ever. She never cared for me this much and it happened out of nowhere. If I knew she was like this I would never even step in this shit.
I don't feel like I cheated with that girl who I took her number, she never acted as girlfriend, never shown any interest and obviously I regarded it as 'dating' .
But I feel like there's the connection back with my ex which came around the last time I made out with that girl and feel like I cheated.
Help people. :S