Gosh, this is very difficult and painful to talk about. My boyfriend (technically fiancée) and I have been dating for 17 months now. He has all the qualities of a true soul mate and genuinely good man. He is: faithful, patient and tolerant when it comes to waiting for sex, has good credit, is giving and unselfish, church-going, romantic, affectionate, and he even shares my same socio-political beliefs; plus he is 28-years-old with no children yet he acts as a father figure to his nieces and nephews. He is dependable, willing to progress, prompt, creative, talented, a homebody, and a man of his word. What more could a woman ask for, right? Wrong!
15 of the 17 months we’ve dated has been long distance. After becoming engaged I relocated to his city and we now live together. Sadly, despite all the ways in which we click, the sexual attraction is non-existent for me. I’m beginning to think I made a mistake by dating someone without having ever met them in person. We have postponed the wedding via my request because I am not so sure I can live with having a romantic relationship without sexual attraction.
I love him SO VERY MUCH and he is deeply in love with me. I know that the bible says “Love conquers all” but I am not sure that my emotional attachment and love can conquer this problem. I would NEVER be unfaithful to him, nor do I have anyone else in mind. Although he is an attractive man (women hit on him and ask him out a lot), I was misled about his physical fitness. He is 100 pounds heavier than I envisioned and his breath stinks 95% of the time and he has tartar build-up on the bottom row of his teeth that further dispels my physical attraction. I have never made out with him and I have no desire to.
To make matters worse, the couple of times that we have done intimate/sexual things I was left sexually unfulfilled
He has been working out and steadily losing weight and he made an appointment to the dentist, yet I still don’t “feel it.” He would do ANYTHING for me and logically, it doesn’t make sense to give up a man with such a genuine love for me, great qualities, and awesome potential.
Lord, I feel so terrible about it because hurting him would KILL ME INSIDE because I love him so much. Should I suck it up and just settle for what I have and ignore the lack of sexual attraction and awkwardness?