I've always had trouble socialising, especially with women. I tend to make friends easily enough at first but then the friendships seem to drift. The same goes for girls, every now and again I'll meet someone nice and then we'll date a couple of times and then I won't hear from them again.
I'm 21 and reaching my third year of university now and I still haven't had a girlfriend/ had sex and it's beginning to worry me now. I'm not unattractive, in fact I am tall and often told by both men and women that I'm good looking. This helps, but I've come to realise how little this counts for when it comes to dating.
It's not like I haven't had opportunities either, now I look back on nights out, dates etc, I can see a few times when if I'd pushed it a little harder I could have taken someone to bed. However I'm the type of person that wants to get comfortable around someone before I sleep with them. When I am feeling confident/sociable I can often do well initially, for example recently I managed to date a model a year older than me (I had a massive confidence boost that week and felt like I could do anything) We went back to hers and kissed etc but I didn't try and undress her etc. The next time I dated her she suddenly became really cold on me and I haven't dated her since. I get the impression that she wanted instant results after the first date and moved on when she didn't get them. In fact I ran into her at college one time and she said hi really awkwardly, and gave me a look that suggested she almost pitied me..
The problem continues, I am extremely nervous about sleeping with a girl for the first time, especially as I won't be very good and they'll be able to tell I haven't done it before. If most girls don't want to see me again if I don't jump into bed with them straight away, I'll bet my left nut that they'll also dispose of me if I can't satisfy them if I go for it and make an attempt. I don't want a string of embarrassing one night stands, I just want a nice girl that can respect me. I've heard female friends talking about when they had boyfriends for months before they slept together and they were 19 and still virgins, and how this was a turn-on for them etc.. why can't I seem to find someone like this?
The thing is, I can be really outgoing and confident at times, when I'm on a date with somebody I can tell they like me and the nervousness fades a lot with this reassurance, however when things get intimate I am suddenly no longer the one in control, which obviously repels most girls. Now when I meet new women I always have this series of failures on my mind, which makes it harder for me to relax, and the idea of sex makes me shake when the time draws near. I have no idea what to do, the older I get the worse it is.