Does he want a relationship? Men are confusing! Help

[truffy]

So I met a guy, John, two months ago at work and we starting hanging out all the time. Lunches and after work a lot too. I was at the tail end of a long term relationship and was looking for an apartment so I could have a place to go after I broke up. Having John around while I was getting out of the relationship was helpful.

I ended it with the bf and after the convo went to John's place for a drink before going to a concert with him and some other friends. When we talked about relationships he mentioned a girlfriend in another city. He seems to really care about her but he said he hadn't ended it because he might end up living in that city again (although whenever he talks about his future he doesn't want to go back). He's also mentioned breaking up with her so he can be free again, and that they have a policy to not talk about other people they've been with.

About two weeks ago I started thinking that it might be nice to sleep with John since I'm so comfortable with him and even though I'd never see him as someone I'd date, he is attractive. I needed to feel better and move on from the ex.

Well we slept together. There's a lot of kissing and cuddling too. He seems to need support and being taken care of, but he's super aloof sometimes. He'll throw things out there about the kind of marriage he wants and things align between us (even though marriage/another long term relationship is not at all what I'm down for right now!)

I thought it was going to be a fun friends-with-benefits thing and I mentioned it was for this month with things going back to normal in the fall. But he started going m.i.a. for days and I didn't know what was happening.

We've been together a few more times and other times we just hang out. We do "date style" stuff and half the time wont go home together. It's really halfway between friends and being a couple. The other day we were out and he said he felt bad b/c of his girlfriend. I apologized, thinking I'd misunderstood their arrangement, two minutes later he changed his mind and we went home together. The next morning we just talked in bed for an hour before I left.

I've developed feelings for him even thought I thought for sure I wouldn't. I spent nearly two months hanging out with him daily and didn't feel anything. Now I really like being around him and I'm thinking something more would be nice. But I find it impossible to tell how he feels. He's super sociable so sometimes I wonder if he just likes having someone around. But when we're together there's a lot of the intimate stuff that I guess isn't normal if it's just about sex.

I'm really confused. I just got out of a crappy relationship so I want something fun and casual and I think that's at the point he's at too (he's in his mid-20s). But I can't seem to read him or figure out how to approach this situation. I think we're both confused. When we don't go home together it's like someone is disappointed, and when we do I feel like the devil because maybe he was pressured and will regret it.

Advice please! I just got out of my first serious relationship, and I've never had an arrangement like this before. And men are generally a mystery to me. Do you think he wants more, or is it all just a diversion?

[smackie9]

Why would you even care if this is just temporary. The guys has a GF and he is screwin you. Obviously he isn't a committed type guy....and don't let the talk of marriage fool you...guys will do and say whatever to keep a girl around for sex. Basically he is thinking he is the luckiest guy because he is getting sex for not just one but two girls. Open your stupid eyes.....it's not what you are hoping for, the guys is a cheater, loser.