Date nights for (non-married) couples?

[mspandaroo]

When you are in a long term relationship and he has a busy schedule, are scheduled date nights a good idea?

We are always spontaneous about our time together*–*and end up hanging out every other day, but he complains he doesn't have time to finish his projects. He wants to see me and spend time with me, I just hate waiting to hear from him last minute to see if we are going to hang out or not.

I made a suggestion today for us to have 2 days a week and make them our quality evenings together. He got really defensive and moody, which he'll probably get over in a day or two.*I don't want to give up on our relationship and wanted to know, are date nights okay for long-term couples?

[HeartIsAching]

I'm not sure why you have to specify "non-married". Married people are in long-term relationships too.

Personally, I think it's a great idea. I think it's such a great idea that my wife and I have a weekly date. It doesn't have to be elaborate - just planned time for just the two of you. Last night we just played trivial pursuit and laughed at the funny bits of Young Frankenstein.

[surfhb]

Ummm.....Abby someone

[HeartIsAching]

Abby... Normal.

[cheekxs]

What ever it is, even the president finds time to spent with his wife.

This bullshit about busy schedule is a lie!

And his reaction is also not right.

And people need to realise that when they lose their job, relationship with people will still something they need.
You cant base your whole life on work and keeping your boss happy. Cause when they have to they will replace you easizly.
You need to care about yourself.

If someone is inlove they will find a way to see and keep in touch.
Technology is so far today that you have more options.

If while dating he cant find the time to spent with you. how will it be when things get more serious?
Like are you going to be a single married woman and parent?
And how can you build a relationship without spending time together?

If you and him cant make it work right now, how will it be later on?

If his job is more important that everything , let him date and **** and married his job!

And you are no toy of no men.
You dont have to jump every time he says how high.
You guys are dating so its the time you have to put your boundaries and let him know what you accept or not and what are your expectations!
Tell him, you are tired of it. and it doesn't have to be when he wants it, you want to make that discussion to.
If he is really into it and want this it should not be about when he wants it only, and at the last minute..

You are busy 2. but you manage your time to see him as well! just get to the point ! cause if you take it now, that is the path in witch the relationship will be base on!

[mspandaroo]

I believe I used the term non-married because married seems like much more of a commitment. However, I think all relationships require work and massaging until things are in place.

[mspandaroo]

Thanks your input, I appreciate it. This is not to sound defensive but more to explain. He finds tons of time to hang out with me, he just doesn't finish his work (his passion for making films) because we are too distracted hanging out. So I was thinking of the schedule a compromise to work on budgeting our time and sticking with our dreams.

I do see your point about looking for another fish in the sea. I've thought about it.

[cheekxs]

I did not read well th first time. cause you dont say relationship for a long time, you said long term relationship. and so some other words. that
doenst make it look like something real and serious.
but like something new that you 2 are trying to figure out.hmm...........weird.

anyway, did you know from the startt that it will be like this?
and like i said, night may be great, but is it normal or okay to keep doing that at night?
sounds to me more like you get no attention or barely, and you call it on date night.

and not like you get a healty amount of it, and just want the night to be extra special time.

[mspandaroo]

I think we just need to make sure we hang out when it's a quality evening, rather than just hanging out to be around each other. We have formed a codependence on each other and now we are both trying to accomplish goals and realize we don't have to be around each other every minute and can still be in love.

I do think I am more in need of attention than most people. But also, he is more of a loner, so yes these are things to consider.