no orgasum?

**rds91** · 13-09-12, 08:59 AM

you are correct i do prefer to finish and some times i do but it does not bother me if i dont, no pain or unsatisifed feeling.
i choose to do it this way as my avrage is 20 min but i have turned that into 2 plus hours if she can do it.

reason this came up is i did it with my ex of 3 years and the girl who i just finished dating
this was the only way for me to last tell my ex had 1 orgasum
and as for the girl i just had a falling out with she could have 6 plus and needed to stop. (i asked her why she got mad, her anwser was your the only one i had not made cum and i dident know why.)

i find that i dont seem to get tiard this way i have used other things such as rings in the past but simply for her plesure, and i felt tiard,
upon finding out how much it may bug a girl I may not do it for are first time, or some how inform her im not gunna reach that point lol

**searock** · 13-09-12, 09:16 AM

Sorry to break it to you, but long-lasting sex does not equal good sex. Sometimes a good 20 minutes of intense, intimate pleasure is much better than 2 hours of non-stop pounding. Not to speak of soreness and discomfort. I'm just saying this because by some comments you make (such as "if she can do it"), it sounds like you think that having sex for a very long time is inherently a positive thing - it is not. It's not all about the physical pleasure either: especially for women, sex is a very emotional experience, so feeling inadequate and "not up to it" (as I'm afraid you make them feel, still based on your comments) is NOT my idea of "good sex", no matter the physical pleasure.

You need to pay attention to signals during sex. If she starts avoiding your eyes, not putting much effort into it or generally anything different from the "ordinary" (and not in a good way), it likely means that she isn't enjoying it much anymore, so there's no point in going on for another hour or so. Good communication is paramount for good sex, don't wait until they get "mad" (although "upset" would be more accurate, I think).

Anyway, the problem here doesn't seem to be the long-lasting effect, it is the fact that even when it ends, you don't reach orgasm. You said yourself that you prefer to finish, so why don't you? Is it a physical problem?

I think it might help to inform the woman about your preference before you have sex. That way, she'll know that it's just your personal preference, and won't feel bad about not being able to make you come.

**rds91** · 13-09-12, 11:05 AM

see i prefer it my self to last a long time dont know why but i do and by saying it has to to with time is only half the reason.i know for a fact that all her orgasums where real even tho she got "mad" she enjoyed it fully and it raised the question about why i wont cum, thats all well and good.

the 2nd part to it is being able to go as hard as i can and as fast as i want with out reaching that point, being somthing i enjoy personaly. i get into a diffrent mind set and can just go for it. feel like i can do anything i want and feel physicly much stronger.

im no stranger to if a girl is having fun or if im hurting her, somthing i make shure is not the case, but my ex was down to go all night and all day it was insane.... like you said tho the point im trying to find out is was this an insult to her... the anwser to this is a yes to some girls. somthing i will take into consideration, upon my next adventure.

i know what makes for fun sex and have adventured to figure out what makes it more fun alot of this has nothing to do with time, more risk of getting cought, locations, physical condidtions, the feeling behind it, emotion. all decide in if it was fun.

im aware of how sex works and some of the most fun i have had have been short... 10 min or so i dont stray away from the fact that long sex is not nessasaraly good sex, im compairing reactions butween 2 girls somthing that i know is not possibul. but im being compaired to other guys and when it becomes the question in there mind as to why i wont cum, new things happen the second time i went with my last girl she worked her ass of and tried everything to get me there, it was as fun as it could ever be.

the question arose when i was able to go all night with my ex and it was crazy, and then went for a good long time with another girl who took exception to me not cuming. more to see the view others have upon the subject not views on me as it is a personal choice.

she admited to it being amazing sex and she was far beyond happy, but brought up the fact im the only one who she has not made cum and she found it odd. one other thing i wanna say about this is it drove her to do some crazy things to get me to that point dident work but made for the best sex i have ever had. as well as with sex is it all about the orgasum you have or the one you give her prehaps the one that happens at the same time, its all what you make of it.

personal view is its not about the orgasum i have i prefer to have one but dont mind not getting there. upon meeting a new girl i may stray away from this untell i know her very well and sshe understands. but if im just going for fun then hell ya im doing it cuz i enjoy it. the only thing missing is the fact i ejaculate somthing i personaly do not mind. i get the feeling and stay there, just because i dont get to that point does not mean a girl wont have fun.

im taking out of this convo that yes a girl could take offence to this, with that in mind i will use my discretion upon deciding when i do it. so as not to make a stupid fight.

**rds91** · 13-09-12, 11:21 AM

i dont have a physical problem i enjoy the feeling i get, yes i like to finish but i have that feeling for an extended period of time... only thing is she does not get the phsical proof

as well when you say go for 2 hours yes i said that but im not talking every night i make um go 2 hours. thats just stupid, i have had sex that has lasted that long tho. with the last girl my times were when she was done about 45 min, i stopped when she said shes done and dident force her to go any longer.

and to anwser the why dont i finish? i dont mind reaching that point but i get the feeling of an orgasum the whole time and love it. belive me i have been having sex for 5 plus years ive had many.

what i dident know when i did this was the negivive toll it had on her just for the reason i dont finish... as i came from a 3 year relationship were me not cumming was not a rare situation and she loved. to a relation were i dident reach it because i decided i dident want to and she took offence, i can see that and now i see why.

**Ange Barnes** · 13-09-12, 12:01 PM

perhaps could tell her it was nerves... next time don't 'do it yourself' before hand...

**searock** · 13-09-12, 06:05 PM

First of all, a girl doesn't feel "insulted" if you don't reach orgasm at the end of sex. She feels like she has done something wrong, therefore she gets upset. As I said, it's not all about the physical pleasure. She may have had 6 orgasms, but the feeling that session left her was "What the hell did I do wrong, am I this bad in bed". Not a good thing.

I still don't understand why you don't reach orgasm at the end. You can go on for hours, and then orgasm. Why not? What is your ideal way of ending sex? Just stopping and waiting for your penis to go limp? Isn't an orgasm preferable to that?

If you don't like reaching orgasm even after hours (when you would have to stop anyway), *tell the woman* before you start having sex. Tell her: "I like lasting long, so I masturbated earlier and now I am not going to reach orgasm". That way, the responsibility is yours. She'll think you're a weirdo, but it won't make her feel bad.

**smackie9** · 14-09-12, 03:43 AM

The satisfaction is sharing the experience of reaching the finaly together. Sorry but IMO it would be a deal breaker for me.

**rds91** · 14-09-12, 05:33 AM

Mmmm well may need to go back to my old ways

little more TLC

**searock** · 14-09-12, 05:52 AM

What's TLC?

rds91, there's nothing wrong with wanting to last longer. It's the fact that you don't want to orgasm at the end of sex that is weird (to most people), and can upset a woman who isn't aware of it beforehand.

**rds91** · 14-09-12, 06:49 AM

Tender love and Cair

It's not I don't want to have one but for me the feeling of an orgasum last for so much longer that satasfaction come to me the only diffrace is I don't physically cum but it felt like I did for 10 minutes .

The only diffrace here is the physical proof of reaching that point and the answer to that is it would bug girls. Obviously I would not do this to a girl I want as my gf on are first time but later on hell ya

**searock** · 14-09-12, 02:28 PM

I repeat: if you *tell* a woman, before you have sex, that you'd rather not have an orgasm, she won't be as upset as if you don't tell her anything and just let her think it's something *she* does wrong.

I don't understand what tender love and care has to do with this?

And you don't seem to get it... I'm asking why you don't want to come even *after* you've lasted longer. Here's an example: you have sex for 2+ hours, then when you need to interrupt (because you have to go to work or whatever), instead of having an orgasm, you just stop and let it go limp. Why? You're going to have to stop anyway, so at that point why not?

**smackie9** · 14-09-12, 10:36 PM

It sounds like you have discovered the art of tantra sex. I agree this has to be discussed before hand and she should learn about it too for herself so you both can experience it in the same way.

**searock** · 14-09-12, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by smackie9

It sounds like you have discovered the art of tantra sex. I agree this has to be discussed before hand and she should learn about it too for herself so you both can experience it in the same way.

Does tantra sex include not having an orgasm even at the end?

**smackie9** · 15-09-12, 01:21 AM

He is saying that he is having an extended orgasm, that doesn't have ejactulation which is possible to do with understanding and practise. Tantra sex is the exchanging of sexual energy, giving and absorbing. For some they can extend the feeling of orgasm for hours. Sting from the Police has openly talked about having this type of sex with his wife over the years.

**searock** · 15-09-12, 01:26 AM

So in order to have an extended orgasm, you cannot ejaculate at any time, not even at the end?

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