Why someone wouldnt want to love

[KRW2012]

In my previous post I talked about my ex and what she just kinda did to me. It seems like she is afraid to love. once she gets out of college she wants to explore the world alone with no one. just by herself. and like I said before by explore I mean site seeing. nothing like sexual exploring because she is distant from it. but heres my serious question

When you come across someone who doesnt talk about their emotion, says one thing but shows the opposite. Do you think that there could of been something in their past that could of shaped the way the want to be? because to me you dont just act the way you act, its how you reacted in the past to things and experianced things that shapes who you are today.

[smackie9]

It's possible, but if she says she wants to explore her "options" that is quite normal.

[KRW2012]

She never used the word "options" it was explore the world. heres what she said. After this semester she wants to go down to mexico and see family that she hasnt seen in years. Her dads from mexico and her moms from central california. she wants to go down to mexico for a few months or more. and then come back home and work in the national park. and then after that just travel the world. But to me its like where are you going to get all this money from. she is broke right now. she said she wanted to go and explore without having to check in with anyone. and that if her and I were together for a year she would of developed too many emotions and wouldnt want to leave my area. so she broke it off now to fulfill what she wants to do. I was okay with that. But she wanted her and I to be friends and such and thought that giving me a week of space was good for me to get over her just like that. and to me that wasnt enough space plus mixed messeges. idk this is a wierd situation that I wanted out of.

[smackie9]

Most people are not as direct on their intentions. She was just telling it to you softly to let you down easy, but the reailty of it is there.

[KRW2012]

no she didnt let me down easy. she ranted a lot. she said she didnt want to go any further with our relationship because she wouldnt wanna leave next summer if we were together all this time. but she kept trying to say things to keeo me around. even when she said leave. that kept making me angry.

[smackie9]

BTW she makes sense. There is no sense in investing in a relationship when you know you will be going away. Maybe she ranted because you wouldn't listen. You let her have all the control here....you had the power to just walk away and say f uck it.

[KRW2012]

Oh no I know she was right. But before when her and I talked she said she wanted to stay in this area. it wasnt untill way after we broke up that she said she isnt. and plus. I had nothing to lose. she would tell me to leave and then ask me if I was done when I walked out the door and I said no. but after the 2nd time I walked. She would say I want you to leave now...talk to you later. I was like really?

[smackie9]

It's like she was testing you to see if you really cared. If that's the case there is no point in chases someone who plays mind games.

[mrFrog]

That's so ridiculous. No one doesn't want to love. The real problem is she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. So you have two main choices. First is leave her behind and find another girl. The second is try to filrt with her from the begining.