This will be a long one, but it is needed....
I'm currently in a long distance relationship. Apart from the 10 hours in-between us we honestly have a great relationship. I can truly say he is my best friend and lover .
We have honesty trust love and a great friendship.
Recently he has been really distant about a month ago I went down to see him and he said we need to talk. As I turned around to look at him he was crying. My heart broke. Either he was breaking up with me of he is going to die any time soon. He is a man's man and in the time we have been together he is not a very sensitive guy.. So you can imagine why these thoughts went through my head. ( About 9 moths ago we decided when I finish uni I will be moving down to Melbourne. We started looking for houses started planing the rest of our lives together. He even named our children .....
Yes we do have fights but to tell you the truth nothing big we make up after about 10 mins.)
As he was sitting there in front of me crying I could honestly feel my heart breaking.
He basically told me he feels guilty that I'm leaving Sydney and I'm leaving my family most importantly my little 10yr old sister that I practically raised. I told him I'm not doing this for him ... I'm not moving for anyone but US... He has no reason to feel guilty.. ANY WAY we solved that there and then.
I got back to Sydney and I can sense something is bothering him.. He doesn't like sharing his thoughts with anyone but me... and it cut me open when he didn't even want to talk to me about it. about 2 days before i was going back to Melbourne to see him .. he called me and just by the tone of his voice I knew it was over.
"I just don't think its going to work. I love you with everything in me. But its just not going to work." He told me not to come to see him and that was it..
Any way .... I didn't give up. Friday morning I woke up called him and told him I'm not giving up I'm coming tonight ... he just said "do you think that's a good idea." I said Yes i do...do you ? He just said Yes.....
That night he came and picked me up from the airport and we sat there in the car for about few hours hugging and crying like idiots. The weekend went past we had the time of our lives as we always do..We spoke about it and said im moving to Melbourne by the end of this year (his idea). All was good . Monday night I'm back in Sydney and I get a call. For some reason I was scared to answer it.
He basically poured his heart out to me and then said things are so good when we are together and as soon at you get back to Sydney its turns to shit. He told me he is not ready for the move but he hates the long distance. Again my heart broke into a million pieces. for the next 2 weeks we didn't communicate I gave him that time to think to wake up bang his head on a wall and see what we have is so good. Couples that live 10 mins apart don't have it as good as we do. Thursday last week he called me and told me he is coming down to Sydney for my birthday. I tried not to get my hopes up but in the end I could not be any more happy . That Friday I went to pick him up we didn't talk we just hugged and walked to the car. We got to a hotel room that he booked for my birthday months ago. I couldn't even look at him knowing Monday night will be our final good bye. It killed me. We sat there looking at each other once again both crying like idiots. Went to some of my family occasions acting like a happy couple and its was not hard to act ...Next to him i feel whole again. I could see he was happy to. Most of the weekend I tried not to think about it i just tried to have a good time and that's what we did we just had an absolutely great time. Laughing being idiots making fun of each other and of course the best most passionate sex I have ever had. Monday morning came and I knew this was it. I woke up and I remembered this is the last time I'm waking up to him. I cried my heart out without him knowing he hugged me and I turned to him and saw he was in the same state. We got up he went to go have a shower. I was in the bathroom getting ready as he pulled me in to the shower and just hugged 2 hours under the water ...He was telling me he loves me and he hates this ... the drive to the airport killed my life...
we had a talk and I told him I still have hope ... and his reply was "GOOD" and I told him I cant stand the thought of him being single in Melbourne while i still have hope and be loyal to something that I have no control over... he replied " I'm not single...i love you." and that was it he hugged me and I left.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.... I need answers i know this is sooo long and a stupid story but i really really need some advice. I have not told anyone about this. I have kept it in this whole time but I just need someone to tell me what they think. Everytime i ask him what's going on he just says i don't know.