I'm dating/having a child with the worlds pickiest eater.

[emilyjade]

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about 9 months now. We live together and I've run across a problem that I just have no clue how to go about. He has had his gallbladder removed and therefore has to be careful with certain types of greasy food he eats. But its not just that... I can name all the things he will eat on one hand. If its not Mcdonalds or pizza he generally won't touch it. Hot dogs of VERY few varieties, flavored rice of VERY few varieties, and the same with chicken. Literally everything I have ever made he has found something wrong with it, or won't touch it because of some childhood memory of him throwing up or not liking it. It feels like a slap in the face when he turns down a meal I made for him. I am a loving and very selfless person and would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy. But when it comes to this food issue, I'm at a loss. I'm not a picky eater but won't dare buy anything he won't touch at the grocery store because I can't eat it fast enough before it goes bad. He doesn't really seem to care much about whether he eats my food or not, if he's hungry he will go get a plain burger and fries from Mcdonalds. This is really getting to me, it bothers me so deeply I tend to cry over it at times.
We are having a child together and I want to eat as a family. I don't know what to do when I will need to cook for our daughter and him but yet he either won't eat what I make, or will eat later without me or 'us'.
Am I wrong here? Should I just let this go and let him do his thing? I just don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut about how bothered I am by this.

[HeartIsAching]

Should I just let this go and let him do his thing? I just don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut about how bothered I am by this.

So you haven't bothered to communicate any of this with him?

[emilyjade]

I have actually communicated with him about this before. Back when we first moved in together I expressed my worries quite extensively to him. His reply was "we'll be fine, don't worry about it" So I didn't for a long time, but it seems lately EVERYTHING I make for him he won't eat, even if its something I previously thought or knew he would.

[surfhb]

Your happiness is the number one priority in any relationship. If it makes you feel bad then you need to tell him that you make him food because it makes you feel good to care for him. If he doesnt want to eat....then so be it. This should be a win win for you. He said dont worry about it.... Fucck what he thinks! You need to make it clear he disrespects you everytime he does this

Think of yourself first

[InYourFACE]

But girl are you serious?

How long do you know this dude?

And whatever it is you are dating him so short to think that you can have any way or influence on
something he have for years.

And maybe you dont cook that well or the way he likes it.
And i think you knew way before his issue with eating your stuff( i mean if you at least took time to get to know him before you became his gf).
So you took him like that. now that he have you and sex with you , you have no say anymore.

Take it or leave!

You to late to be complaining. And you are to short in the relationship for there to be a certain trust or open up
from him to you.

Maybe you can try to make his favorite dish( the way he likes it) just to see if its your dish or he that really needs a therapist.

[surfhb]

Op.....Nevermind the above post. She's our resident troll here on these forums

[VincenzoG91]

Nine months? Nine months and you're already having a kid with this guy? Isn't that a little quick? That's the elephant in the room, right there. And how long did you date before moving in with him? Did you ever stop to think that you two were rushing things and you might need to take more time to get to know each other?

[j-white]

My girlfriend of nine years had an even pickier diet than that. I wont go into the details but it was quite embarrasing. To the point where I turned down invites to colleagues weddings and parties etc.
In nine years I had a very little impact. Maybe 3 additions to her diet but she ate these very rarely. Same problems, memories of once being sick etc.
We couldnt go to proper restaurants and its a surprising strain on a relationship. I guess in the background it was one factor that led to our split. I seriously questioned her ability to bring up up a healthy child with these issues.

Just sharing my experience there.

[Wakeup]

I am a loving and very selfless person and would go to the ends of the earth to make him happy.

Hardly true for if it were, you'd not be a basket case from failing at trying to control him. If it were true, you'd leave him alone to eat the way he always has and the way he always probably will. As Vincenzo has pointed out; you rushed into this entire situation and you went ahead and started a family before even realizing that his habits would affect you so badly that you'd cry over them.

You're not his mother ya know. If he doesn't want to eat his peas then so be it. You cook healthy for you and your baby and let him do what he wants. If you can't handle that, then leave and find someone who actually wants you to cook for him. Don't take it so seriously that he won't eat what you deem he should be eating and that will be one issue out of the way of your very new relationship at least.

[emilyjade]

Nine months? Nine months and you're already having a kid with this guy? Isn't that a little quick? That's the elephant in the room, right there. And how long did you date before moving in with him? Did you ever stop to think that you two were rushing things and you might need to take more time to get to know each other?

You don't think I'm not aware of this? Don't be so quick to judge someone's circumstances. Despite being careful and being on birth control, bam I get pregnant. Accidents happen and you shouldn't hold that against anyone. The fact that he didn't bounce on me and is willing to stay and raise a child with me says a shit ton to me. In a perfect world we would've dated a lot longer before even thinkin about children. In a perfect world we would've taken a lot longer to get to know each other. We are both making the best of the situation and working on overcoming problems before and as they arrive. I wanted to hear other experiences from people with the same problem. I was hoping I'd hear from another picky person so I can see it from the other side.

[emilyjade]

Hardly true for if it were, you'd not be a basket case from failing at trying to control him.

I'm not trying to control what he does. I don't care what he puts in his body, that's his decision. When I make dinner for the two of us it is always something I know he likes. I've never tried to put something in his mouth I know he won't eat. What hurts is that I've bent over backwards to meet his needs and to make sure he doesn't go to bed hungry but yet I seem to constantly fail at making this happen. And you shouldn't be so quick to judge my circumstance too. People have accidents and if you're going to judge me based on that then don't bother giving me advice. I've had enough shit thrown at me because of our situation. I've lost friends, I've lost family and I've had complete strangers flip me shit because they are unaware of what is really going on.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop cooking for him.

How picky of an eater is he? I want details.

[Maple1714]

You don't think I'm not aware of this? Don't be so quick to judge someone's circumstances. Despite being careful and being on birth control, bam I get pregnant. Accidents happen and you shouldn't hold that against anyone. The fact that he didn't bounce on me and is willing to stay and raise a child with me says a shit ton to me. In a perfect world we would've dated a lot longer before even thinkin about children. In a perfect world we would've taken a lot longer to get to know each other. We are both making the best of the situation and working on overcoming problems before and as they arrive. I wanted to hear other experiences from people with the same problem. I was hoping I'd hear from another picky person so I can see it from the other side.

I knew my BF only for 3 months before I got pregnant...I was on BC too AND I took the morning after pill....so yeah it happens more than 2 years later now and he is a Great father!

[Cerby]

I am pro-choice, an "accident" would cost me and my gf ideally ~$300 (or whatever the going rate is).

OP, People here are right that you probably shouldn't worry about what he eats. But this is a situation where your relationship went too fast and you didn't really get to evaluate the "issues" you two have before moving in together and having a baby (accident or not, responsibility for the situation must be taken). So you're 9 months in and now you're starting to see the things that bother you, honeymoon phase is over. Worse you're not REALLY interested in communicating about it, hence why you're here.

I think you should sit down with a pen and paper, and ask him to list ALL the things he will eat, if he leaves out obvious foods, ask. Tell him it is for the benefit of the baby, or the family unit, or some other bs term that you can use to extract information. It bothers you, and the only people that can fix this problem are you and him.

[smackie9]

I understand that food is what brings friends, family and lovers together. Eating great food is supposed to be a wonderful shared experience.....this is why you are feeling hurt, because he won't share this pleasure with you. You want to make some changes? get him more involved with the cooking, and the shopping. Take him to a market that has different food stands where you two can sample things...make it fun. Make sure you go hungry.

If he has a food phobia rooted from his childhood, maybe he should see a therapist before it turns into an eating disorder.