I broke up with my ex-girlfriend about 5 weeks ago. I found her to be absolutely amazing; great personality, beautiful and a good head on her shoulders. We were very compatible. However, we have been dating for almost 6 years and I guess I felt pressured to be settling down, but I loved the thought that I will be settling down with this amazing person and that we will have a bright future. I am 25, she is 24. She showed me how to love and what love really is. Since she is my first in everything, even my first true love, I always wondered if I was missing out in anything by being independent at my age. Well she had plenty of bfs before and know how hard it's like finding something what we have. As for me, I had no clue so I took her for granted; I wasn't as romantic and sweet as I wanted to be and I felt broken from when she broke up with me once and left me for another because I was being an immature jealous idiot that lack communication skills. I've tried to be a great guy for her and loved her so much, and she is a very caring individual and she guided me through a great path in my career. She has really changed me; made me mature and open and a great person in my opinion.
As of now, it is very hard to move on. I find myself thinking about her constantly and missing my life with her. I recently finally moved out of the house and started my first job in the city, but it feels like nothing without her, I don't even get excited. I really want her back in my life and I find myself regretting what i have done because of that thought of independence. I feel that the break up is a good thing for me to happen even though i regret it due to the fact that I learned a lesson through my mistakes; to never let go and keep fighting for the one you love. The reason which really convinced me to leave and not work through our difficulties in the end is that I always find myself thinking..."what if?". Is this really it? Can I find someone better? What is it like to date other girls? I broke up with her because I found it cruel to string her along while I ponder about this. I also thought the timing was wrong. But from the bottom of my heart, I love this girl. I really do, but these thoughts overwhelm me all the time near the end of our relationship and I didn't want it around if we were to marry. I really wished for myself that I didn't have it lingering in my head so I didn't have to do what I did. I'm just so confused... Was my decision correct? I truly want to her to be happy so I let her go, let her move on from me and find someone else. But the thought of it kills me everyday... I know she is hurting and it's tearing me apart. And because of what I did, she probably doesn't want to try anymore. I never broken a girl's heart before and I never want to do it again, especially to the one I love
I think I already know my answer, but I just want to hear from someone else