I really need help, I just don't know what to do at this point. This is a very screwed up situation, so bear with me.
My boyfriend and I had been together for only a few months, but I thought we were doing well. We hadn't fought or anything and seemed to enjoy each others' company like a normal pair, so I was stunned when he just disappeared on me one day. It's been weeks and he won't answer my calls or texts and won't call or text me. So I had to face the fact that he decided to end it, but didn't have the heart to at least say goodbye. So in order to keep myself from trying to call him again, I erased anything I had relating to him (from phone, from facebook, from email, from address book, everything).
Just as I'm starting to get over this, I notice changes with my body that are too embarrassing to say. So I go to the doctor and...yeah, I'm pregnant. I didn't know how this could happen because although I wasn't on the pill we did use a condom every time. But I was very "tight" (especially my first time) and it was a struggle, I was literally crying, so I suppose the thing could've ripped? I guess it did at some point. There's supposedly only some 3% chance - lucky me, eh?
I don't know about this, but I thought about it trying to come up with theories as to why he disappeared. I also found out I'd developed a yeast infection, which is common at the start of pregnancy. I might've passed my yeast infection on to him at some point, and he may have thought it was something worse (like an STD) and maybe that's why he just left like that? If so, he's probably mad about it.
I'm just very stressed right now (and maybe he is, too?). I might be okay about it if he was still here, but he isn't. Everything would be so much simpler if I could just talk to him, and have a chance to explain everything. I've been trying to contact him to tell him this, but he's gone MIA. I don't even know how well he'd react to this since he's already got a few children from a previous marriage, or the yeast infection accident if that's why he left. I've been thinking maybe I should just go up to his job to tell him, since I still remember where that is...normally I wouldn't, but this is fairly important.
I don't know what to do...part of me wants to keep the baby, but a big part doesn't. And I don't know if he'd want his kid if he knew. And I don't want him walking around thinking he's caught herpes or something from me when it's a yeast infection. Really, the only way I can possibly afford to keep a baby is if he was with me...I'm a college kid, I don't have a job or a house. He does, though. I don't even think I'd want it without a father.
I've thought and thought about it but I really can't think about it anymore. I have midterms coming up and a ton of homework due (procrastinated mostly due to occupation with these issues), and I'll fail out of university if I can't resolve this issue and quit thinking about it. Should I go to his job to tell him? What am I to do???