Friends With Ex Girlfried Again..Help Pls!!?

[heartbreakkid6]

hello

i need some serious advise with my ex gf!!


ok..so here it goes..we broke up abt 2 months ago(5yrs of relationship)..she dumped me accusing me of nt talking to her for a very long time(i had exams and i was pissed with her behavior)and said that we had lots of fight and we are not compatible as couple but we are only compatible as friends...moreover she said that she doesnt love me anymore and want to stay as friends..i sed few bad words and went no contatc for 1.5 months..after that i messaged her that i am over her and i dnt want any relationship..im fine with frdship like before...since then we having been behaving like frnds..she far away from me so we chat on msgs..very casual and friendsly chat..now the point is that i really LOVE her and i want her back in my life..pls pls suggest me how to proceed from here...?????????

[heartbreakkid6]

12 views nd no reply??????..i really need some help!

[bcgirl]

no contact rule! ofcourse if you remain friends with the ex you will end up loving them again. You can only be friends if there is absolute no more lust, passion, sexual chemistry between you two

[heartbreakkid6]

thats what i meant man..i LOVE her and we are friends again..i want to get her back..she single and i want a chance...i need to know how to proceed from here!! ;(

[HeartIsAching]

Then you probably shouldn't have emotionally abused her. If she's as smart as she sounds, you're hosed. Find a new GF.

[heartbreakkid6]

but what if shes not..we are good friends again and i am treating her very well...and i vl keep on doing back but how to get hr back man...should i express my love or wait a bit more?

[Robertos3]

begin with how you two started.. let her feel it again..

[searock]

Easy - tell her that you have feelings for her again and would like to try again. She will spare you a lot of hassle by giving you a straight out "no", and you'll be able to go no contact again, this time, hopefully, for good.

[heartbreakkid6]

man i am scared to shit to show my feelings her..all i am doing now is just pretending to be super cool and giving her no clues that i am still into her..i am just showing off that i am too happy in my life with my new friends who are obviously girls..but at the same time i am taking care of her and being very supportive..now i know i hv don right till now..but i dnt want to make ne mistake,so i need to know how to proceed from here man!!

[eddiedelgado]

It may sound harsh but women find emotionally devastated men pathetic. While sensitive men appeal to them during the course of their relationship, a woman expects a man to be strong and take a breakup like a man. Although it may sound sexist, the last thing a woman finds attractive is a man holding a tissue box in his hand while begging her to come back. This isn’t macho. Therefore, take time to cry, hit a punching bag or drown your sorrows at the local pub. Whatever you choose, though, be sure to pull yourself together before making any contact with her. Hope this will help you a bit.

[reeba]

You need to have a heart to heart chat with her. TELL her that you CANNOT be friends with her because you still have feelings for her, and there is NO WAY for you to move onto another healthy relationship with her still in your life. If she was playing some sort of power game with you, and she does want to continue the relationship, she better speak up now, or do a total breakup meaning NO COMMUNICATION EVER.

This 'I want to remain friends' usually means she is dating/looking for someone else, and keeping you on the bench in case it falls through. Or it is a way to make her feel better about the breakup. Overall very very rarely can someone remain just friends after emotions have been involved.

Also if she did this breakup as a power play, watch out, she will do it again and again.

Maybe after more time has passed, and you BOTH are happy with your current lives, you could be just friends. But right now is not the time.

[heartbreakkid6]

so wht u mean is that i should tell her my feelings now only and not wait for our frndship to grow back stronger??? i shd directly tell her or give signs by flirting???i dnt wanna sound desperate again man...i dnt to loose my self esteem.i want to win her back with a pride if shes willing to come!!

[reeba]

True for a new relationship you let the friendship grow. But this is a 5 year long relationship, and you have been broken up for only 2 months. You already know eachother, and in the last 2 months neither of you have become a brandnew person. If she didn't love you 2 months ago, why would she change her mind now.

You need to have a chat with her, and tell her you still have feelings. If she still has feelings she will respect you for saying something. If she doesn't, yes it will be a blow to your self esteem. But you initiated contact, so you already have little self esteem to begin with.

My guess is you won't listen though. I wouldn't be surprised that if your therapist even said about the same. I think you are just on this site phishing for advice that matches what you want to hear.

[heartbreakkid6]

i am not going to any therapist man..i just love her so badly that i want her back...in my opinion i vl wait till her final exams...that's till january..till then i vl just be friends with her and show my concern during this time..i vl try to tke care of her and be supoortive and in betwen flirt a lot to keep her guessing..i vl thn show my feelings but i wont propose her and ask for an ans..if she really loves me,she vl come back..by doing this atleast i would have mended up things from my side..this is all i want to do??? what u guys think of this plan?

[HeartIsAching]

Why do you keep asking us what we think? Clearly you want your ideas validated, not our honest opinions.