Originally Posted by
Sumguy
Does anyone see a way this could go the other way ? How can I tell her I know without admitting I snooped ? What should i do ! Unjust told her i loved her too before I found out .....is it still wrong if we're not dating for her to do that ??
If you want to confront her, be honest about snooping. Start with that and get it out of the way. How can you expect honesty from her if you don't intend on giving it yourself?
I've done this before. I used to be super paranoid and snooped often. I would often try and get information out of him without being upfront about why I was asking so many strange questions. It often led to more distrust and hurt feelings. Then I started one day with, "I know I shouldn't have and I feel bad about it. I've been reading your text messages and I need to ask some questions." This disarmed him a bit and it wasn't until after he had answered some questions that we got on to the fact that I had snooped. It wasn't a fun conversation but it had to be done.
It also sounds like you guys never made things exclusive and with that in mind, you can't hold the sleeping with someone else against her, though the lying is a different matter.
If both of you want to make this work, it is completely plausible that you can get past this with time and effort. Plausible is different to likely though.
'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.