Am I being played or...? Ignorance is bliss?

[Ricarda23]

Guess what, there is this guy.... I've met him not so long time ago, since he doesn't live in my town we don't catch up very often, but there is Skype, we constantly talked there. He invited me to come and visit him next weekend because he lives 1000 miles away, I wasn't sure if I'll be able to go or not. But he asked me last week if I'll go or not so that he knows if he'll buy me a ticket or not (thought it was all settled down and arranged, but guess he missunderstood me and didn't bought it yet). I replied couple of hours laters that I am going, since that day he barely speaks to me almost zero. Last time we spoke was on friday I just said hi and asked him if he got my messages because Skype made me issues with my friends not delivering (which is true, so I told him that I'm coming. Once again, thought he didnt get it and is pissed off) All he said was hi asked me how I am. I'm trying to completely ignore him because I'm feeling like he doesn't wants me there at all and that he is hiding now. But on the other hand this whole stuff was his idea, I don't know why he'd ask me this question if he doesn't wants me there. What should I do? I don't think I did anything wrong.
Yesterday I played it cool and told him to call me when he can when I finish my work, because I'm alone at home. He is 24 hours online but with away sign...Of course he didn't call! This waiting is killing me. I don't know what to think or what to do but the facts that indicate that I'm being a fool and played by someone who doesn't deserve my attention. I think its true that if he is busy in his life these days means simply an asshole. What should I text him? I need some advices, I dont wanna send him some bitchy text, but I really need to know to prepare myself to go. Am I making a big deal with this all because I wanted just some reaction from him about my confirmation? Its just couple of days we didnt talk much. I know his job is too responsible and stressfull but its killing me, what am I suposed to do?

[bebaba]

Either
1. He is regretting asking you to come to see him because he was just being polite and didn't think you'd take him up on it.
2. He is genuinely not recieving your skype messages and is busy.

You can either
1. Pack your bags and wait around for him to say the word, at which point you will jump on a train, making you look like a fool.
2. Forget him and find someone who is less than 1,000 miles away.

[Ricarda23]

Thanks for reply! I'm completely aware of all the things you said. But I am really lost with what should I text him? I don't know what is going on but at the same time I don't want to wait like a fool, I think I didn't deserve it. An on the other hand I don't wanna send him some neurotic text beause I don't know the facts.

[bebaba]

Well don't send him a neurotic text then. If you must send any text, send something like:

"Hey, are you still cool with me coming to visit this weekend?"

Although I would advise you to leave it completely and go out, get drunk and have fun with mates instead of travelling 1,000 miles to see somebody who I doubt would appreciate your efforts.

[Ricarda23]

I am thinking the same to ignore and get drunk, haha! But you know I'd feel really bad if someone spends 1000 dollars on me and I just don't show up.

This was not my idea in the first place, he started it, he said how much he misses me, he says to me everyday how he thinks I'm beautiful, awesome and so on...I mean I fell for it because he is treating me really nice, so this behaviour nowdays makes me really confused, I don't know what to think, I will see!

Yes, I might send something like this. I'm not smart enough, I'm going out and clear my head. But if I send him in these direct words as you wrote and if he is just busy and i'm making this so huge out of nothing, then it would make me stupid and insecure in his eyes. Maybe I should just tell him something like:" I don't wanna bother you too much. But do you still want to see me or not, if you made up your mind its fine, just let me know so that I can plan things."

[reeba]

Bad advice Ricardo. Never get drunk when you are attempting to 'break off communication'. All you will do is get drunk, your common sense will leave you, and you will text some psycho message.

Who knows if this guy was ever sincere about you visiting.
- He might have been sincere at the time about a visit, and changed his mind for whatever reason (the message here is HE IS NOT INTERSTED SO STOP TEXTING!!!!).
- Or maybe he spends his time in his basement computer room, playing online Ricky Suave. He never planned to really have a relationship. It was all about the 'hunt'.

Find someone who lives closer.

[Ricarda23]

I won't get drunk! Well, I don't understand guys. Because this wasn't my idea at all, he started it in the first place and persuaded me to come, lol! I don't get it how this asshole isn't interested anymore, but I guess you are both right somehow! Anyways thanks for the replies. I will text him for the last time in 2,3 days, I talked to my friends and after I text him ---> goodbye. I'm not desperate or pathetic or I don't know what, just don't persuade me, push me to do this for 30 days and then just back off for 5 days with no replies, well all I can say to him is to f....off and I am aware of the fact that I will be pushy with sending him a normal text message as I posted above. But you know what they say: " When someone is being mean to you, you have to show them that you are on higher level then them and act nice and polite, even do them a favor.!"

[Anika1]

I've noticed guys doing this so often, it is like once the girl agrees to somehing, they see it in a new light an regret it. I know plying it cool is dificult especially with so many thougts an emotons whirling in your head. My advice: get busy with sme thing else to divert your mind, as oon as you stop thinkin abt him, this incident etc you will feel better. Maybe even look back and joke about it.

[Ricarda23]

I ignored, I did a lot of things that distracted my thoughts off this things and in the end he called me. He was angry why I never replied to him if I am going to his place or not. I said it's not me that didn't replied its was you! After some intense convo we jumped to conlusion that technology messed a lot with our communication. He got me transportation even if all the transportation ways were full. I called to check up if he was lying or not. He wasn't. Thanks everyone for replies. Sometimes you need to just wait, if someone is into you he will do anything to see you, thats all I can say. I will see how things will go on, but as far for now, I'm happy with how things are going, he showed me he cared in some way, but I'm still keeping a distance after all the shock I went throught because of tehcnology or not, I'll never find out

[reeba]

Proceed with caution. I can see missing one message, but several over several days?

By the way - Why isn't he visiting you? Why are you the one getting on the train/bus/plane/whatever??????

[Boisdevie]

Such a shame that the only single guy on your continent is 1000 miles away.