7 Year Relationship about to be over

[ttylox]

I think that sounds like a pretty good response to her. She sure is dwelling on this whole thing about you wanting to take a step back! You made a mistake and if she's going to be with you and be happy she needs to forgive you and move on from it. She still needs that space, it sounds like. Just let her know you're around if she needs you but that you want to respect her wish for some time off.

[TNMan]

I will do that. Thank you again for all of your responses. It's help put my mind at ease a little bit.

[TNMan]

The more I think about this (not good I know) I can't help but think there might be someone else. It's all just too strange. Should I send her a text letting her know how I feel, admit my faults and then leave it be or just leave it alone all together?

[ttylox]

Duuuddee. Don't do this to yourself. Do not text her. Every time you pick up your phone to text her, imagine her looking at her phone receiving it, rolling her eyes and thinking "I thought I told him I needed some space?!"

[TNMan]

You're right. You must think I'm crazy. I just hate that I feel like I've put us in this position and its driving me crazy. I feel at this point after 7 years she either wants this or she doesn't.

[smackie9]

7 years is a long time, and since this relationship hasn't progressed to where it should be by now, there is doubt on both sides. Marriage is a huge step, and you think this is tough now what you are dealing with, marriage is even tougher. Before you both go heading off to the alter, I suggest you both go to couples counseling to get your shit sorted out. There is more to your issues than what happened 3 months ago...that is a symptom of a deeper problem.

[TNMan]

I think so, too. She had a "rough" childhood. Bad relationship with her mother, parents divorced, etc. and seems like a lot of stuff is hitting the fan

She called wanting to see me yesterday. She said she wants to work on this, but to take it slow and for it to be "not so serious." She said she chased me for so long and never took time for herself and she is going to do that now. At this point, I'm like you shouldn't need time for yourself. I acknowledged I messed up, apologized, and she said she needs time to forgive me. I get all that, but after 7 years, you're right. I'm ready to take that next step, she wants to more or less hold me on by a string while she does what she wants. I don't know how I feel about that. She claims I did what I wanted to for awhile, and I may have, but not to this extreme.

[smackie9]

This is why I suggest seeing a counselor, to you both can get it sorted out properly. The communication between you to isn't very good, so this may help you see a little clearer.

[Ladybuggg]

I read to much push away in this topic.

Its over, see where u did wrong and apologize to her so u can find closure the right way.andmove on! stop forcing and paining each-other.

[TNMan]

I've tried to say "you want this or you don't." I've acknowledged I messed up, and if she is harboring ill-will then that's fine. I've messed up, owned it, and she is just being mean. She said she wanted to work on it, but needed time to work on it. She said I glossed over the whole thing (even though things were fine) and then she snapped. I've told her I'm in this 100% but she said she wanted some time to herself to forgive me.