Ex is nice to me now

[IndiReloaded]

Is this a different guy or the same one? Anyway, yoyo, you really should work on asking for what you want. I'll repeat my previous advice to you, since it seems to be coming to pass. We warned you:

There aren't 'steps'. You aren't even asking the right question. Girls (and I mean 'girls') like you may catch guys but you can't keep them. Men enjoy relationships best when things are clear and simple. They run when things get confusing and you are the textbook example of this.

If you must think 'steps' they are this:

1. Know what you want (not him, *you*). 2. Ask for what you want in a clear, respectful, situationally appropriate (you need help with this) way. 3. When you get what you want, appreciate it and show your appreciation. Enjoy.

That's it. Anything more complicated is unnecessary.

[haxan]

She can keep wondering forever, searock. We're trying to give her the right advice, just move on and find someone who's in to her. I'm not from the keep knocking on the door school, when you know someone is inside and they're not answering (because it's you knocking). It's an even less attractive approach when the female is the one taking it. We (men) tend not to make it very difficult to know that we're into you.

I guess if we dated for a couple months, broke up, and then barely spoke for months on end, and I just happened to hand you something at work. If based upon that you wanted to think I had the hots for you again, whatever. That doesn't make much sense though, does it?

[searock]

Of course it doesn't make sense, anyone with a clue on social hints would know that. It's the OP who needs to see it, though. If you read the other thread of yoyobabe1, you'd know just how hopeless she is at reading signals. She's probably thinking something like "he is into me but he is too cowardly and immature to do something about it, so I'm going to be neutral and wait for him to do something and if he doesn't, he's so immature!!1".

[IndiReloaded]

Okay. So here goes. Hopefully this makes it crystal clear:

A man who is into you will make time for you. He will contact you, on his own without your leading him.
Now, there *may* be a guy who is into you but is too nervous to actually ask you out. In that case, he will *still* find ways to be around you (i.e. make time for you). He will escalate contact over time, so he appears on your radar. That is NOT what is happening in your case.

If you want this guy to reengage, then YOU are going to have to pursue HIM.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201109/6-signs-hes-just-not-you

4. He still hasn't asked you out. This should be a given, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard people texting or g-chatting for months and months before any attempt at physical contact is made. If you're seeking mild flirtation or a virtual relationship, texting is fine-but if you want something more, then he needs to make a move in real life. If you're at a point where you don't want to wait anymore, stop waiting. You shouldn't have to force someone to ask you out.

[smackie9]

Of course that makes total sense but this girl doesn't have any...you can post till you are blue in the face with this one...she just won't get it. I keep wondering if she still believes in unicorns?