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Thread: Caught boyfriend looking at friend's photo on Facebook

  1. #61
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    For crissake the OP is long gone.

    The *real* issue is that the OP doesn't trust her BF. He clearly doesn't know how to communicate in a way that she finds reassuring. And yes, a good partner does take some responsibility in communicating this way. Maybe its his issue, maybe its hers (insecurity). But this single issue is trivial.

    Now, if it turns out he is the kind of guy that won't say shit with a mouth full of it (and they do exist), be it issues big or small, then she will have to decide if this is the guy for her. I think that is what she is worried about, longterm. Right now tho, its time for her to let this go.

    You can all lead by example, btw. Let this small issue go. Quit overanalyzing.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    *shrugs* I doubt she'd start a thread if the Op thought it was a "small issue." Likely she's still lurking and if nothing else, perhaps being analytical about her situation will help her to see another angle that she may have overlooked which in turn will help her with this situation. Or... it may even help someone else who is having a similar issue.
    Nothing wrong with looking into things, discussing them and enjoying a civil, on topic discussion with one another.

  3. #63
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    There's analytical and over-analytical, which is what this thread has become. You don't have the training to know the difference, but the latter is never helpful.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    I found it helpful. It made me remember and not take for granted that I dont' have such things to worry about within my own relationship and that trust is a wonderful thing to enjoy with one's partner. I don't need training to appreciate that, Indie.

    You have your opinion and that's fine. I know enough by now that you and I cannot have a civil conversation without you taking it to a personal level while we disagree with one another so I'll just bid you a happy 12/12/12 and call it a night.

    Cheers.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    I found it helpful. It made me remember and not take for granted that I dont' have such things to worry about within my own relationship and that trust is a wonderful thing to enjoy with one's partner. I don't need training to appreciate that, Indie.
    I missed the part where this became your thread. I thought this was about helping OP to put *her* issues into the correct context. I agree, you should be thankful for a partner that puts up with your brand of crazy, most wouldn't.

    @ smackie - I agree.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Indie, why are you always so harsh with Wakeup? By the way, I think she talked about herself in response to your statement "You don't have the training to know the difference, but...", which was only about her. I'm just curious, but hey, I'll keep my butt out of it if asked nicely :-D.

  7. #67
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    I'm far kinder to Wakeup than she is to many of our posters (a lot of whom have left since she arrived). As to why, I have extremely good BS detectors, and even better observation skills. I remember posts from when someone first joins to now (sorry, eidetic memory). I could explain more, but its Wakeup's journey and her issues to share or not as she chooses.

    I'm just wanting this thread to get back on track for the OP, since its her thread. And yes, many of you are overanalyzing things.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by bcgirl View Post
    Yah and if someone you knew had kiddie porn in their browsing history you should respect their privacy as well?
    I understand having privacy to take a sh!t, but when your spouse is on YOUR computer, delibrately deleting his tracks means he has something to hide. Perhaps he was scared about an over reaction, but if someone can not be honest with another about something so trivial suggests there is something wrong with the communication in this relationship. Or she must be very controlling or he must have done something wrong in his mind to try to cover his tracks. If she's mentioned she doesn't care if he looks at other girls. Then the latter explanation may not be so wacky.
    #1, I wouldn't know because I never look at anyone's browser history to begin with.#2 My husband never uses my computer (if he does, I would never know) and I never use his unless I ask him to look up how to fix the issues with my computer. #3 I don't check his phone when it goes off and I never view his e mails even if the page is open on his laptop. #4 I don't even look at my own browser history.

    More people need to know about "private Browser" ......then we wouldn't see threads like this again.

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    @ Searock ~ Thank you

    You see Indie what I mean by taking it personal. I've never said anything to you about your miserable existence with your husband and I even know the details of your particular brand of dysfunction. It's easy to see why he checked out if you're as determined to be the "trained" bossy know-it-all.as you are in this forum. My point about this thread helping me was in response to your "it's not helping ANYONE." I didn't make this about me, You did that, as usual.

    As for people leaving since I've joined. No wonder with the way you've made so many threads a insult-fest. You'd scare anyone who didn't have some balls away.

    Now, please take this to private email if you want to respond because once again you've derailed a thread to make it between you and me.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 14-12-12 at 12:23 AM.

  10. #70
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    Ah Wakeup. Yet another productive day on the internet, I see.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  11. #71
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    You see Indie what I mean by taking it personal. I've never said anything to you about your miserable existence with your husband and I even know the details of your particular brand of dysfunction. It's easy to see why he checked out if you're as determined to be the "trained" bossy know-it-all.as you are in this forum. My point about this thread helping me was in response to your "it's not helping ANYONE." I didn't make this about me, You did that, as usual.

    As for people leaving since I've joined. No wonder with the way you've made so many threads a insult-fest. You'd scare anyone who didn't have some balls away.
    Just making sure you can't go back and edit your post in post-hoc cowardice later. Now your true nastiness is there for everyone to see.

    For the record, I left my husband for reasons you wouldn't have the courage to face, though you try to get everyone else to do what you can't. I know you wish you could, but since you don't have a self-supporting career it's difficult. I do feel sorry for you, fwiw.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Just making sure you can't go back and edit your post in post-hoc cowardice later. Now your true nastiness is there for everyone to see.

    For the record, I left my husband for reasons you wouldn't have the courage to face, though you try to get everyone else to do what you can't. I know you wish you could, but since you don't have a self-supporting career it's difficult. I do feel sorry for you, fwiw.
    .. lolzz..

    As a well liked troll likes to say: "Mad Bro?" Anyway.. I will wish you a happy singlehood since it's obvious that your married life was anything but. I also hope you have a good pension plan in place so you can enjoy a young retirement too.

    Be well.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 14-12-12 at 11:54 AM. Reason: edited to add quote

  13. #73
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    I think you have every reason to be mad. You should tell him how you feel and that you arent cool with what him looking at pictures of girls or friend. If he ignores you and deosnt care then it will get worse and he will begin to do more things that will get you upset. Ask him this "How would you feel if i looked at half naked pictures of girls friends"?

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