I am a 33 years old female. Having completed my PhD from John Hopkins about 3 years ago, I am currently a lecturer at a small university. There are no facilities for research at the university I'm currently at, so I am keen on moving to another university to allow me to conduct my research and for career advancement.
I have two competing offers:
(1) A postdoctoral researcher at Stanford for a period of 6 months starting in 6 months (May).
(2) A visiting professor at Penn State for period of 1 year starting in 3 months (March / April).
I can only choose EITHER Stanford OR Penn State due to the overlapping start time and duration
If I choose offer (1), I have the support of my parents but may lose my boyfriend of 4 years.
If I choose offer (2), I may lose the support of my parents but still have my boyfriend of 4 years. My boyfriend stays in Penn State and promises he will marry me when I've settled down in Penn State for 3-4 months.
Is the prestige gained from doing a postdoc at Stanford worth anything?
I have visited Penn State and they have suitable equipment required for my research. The research at Stanford is not really related to my area of interest but I believe I can explore other research groups at Stanford during my postdoc. Moreover, there is a certain prestige that comes with doing a postdoc at Stanford (is this true or just a myth? )
I am a little concerned about pregnancy complications / infertility issues if I decide to postpone marriage. I may also have to find another boyfriend if he still insists that I forgo the postdoctoral position at Stanford.
However, if I agree to my boyfriend's request to forgo my postdoc this time, I fear he may ask me to forgo any ideas of advancing my career in the future.
Which offer is better for my career and marriage for long-term? Any suggestions on achieving career-marriage balance? Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks