Feel ackward in this situation....

[frenchy]

Some of you know my situation...left a relationship of 24 years and see a FB guy...

Last Friday..I went to my fb mother with his sister, sister friend for a few drink...early evening my fb mother was too drunk and wanted to go to bed so we had to leave..so my bf sister (let call her Chant) and her friend (lets call her Miss) ...Chant said she need a ride home wich is 2 block away of where we were so i said i will drive you cause i know that my Fb was there they live together...but she choose to go with Miss..I wanted to continue having fun so I said ok they said she is just dropping me off...i said ok.... so i stay at the mom for like 30 min more and left...

On my way home I pass by the house and then notice that Miss car was park there..i was not impress that they just left me there and did not even invite me to go and knowing that my fb was there too..so..I was a bit upset... anyway..looking in my rear view mirror i notice my ex following me so i said to myself well if I drive around a few times by my fb slowly then my ex might think that i am going to his place...so i did...but then 3 times i pass my FB and Miss were outside and saw me...i felt weird..so I went around and the still looking for my ex and felt sick to my stomach i park my car...on the street not too far from my fb house...and then noticing that my ex has stop too i wanted to go see him and challenging him...

but what happen next was that I see the Miss leaving the house and then my fb too...I said ok what ever...i was park there looking for my ex...and then i said my fb with leave the other way....but no he comes my way... i was sick trowing up so i felt very ackward so i shoot my light and bent down like an ediot...because i did not want him to think i am a weirdo...

After he pass i wanted to go talk to him so I left still looking for my ex with no where to be found...so I try to see where my bf was but not where to be find either..so i went home..

Now the next days my mom fb goes Miss called me regarding something and she goes Me and my FB were outside of the house and saw frenchy pass by and Miss goes to fb he that frenchy and he goes ya i saw her 2 to 3 times passing by..and Miss goes what the heck is she spying on him and she start laughing and sait stalker...in a joking way... my mom's fb told me that..

So I told her mom ya I pass there because my ex was after me and that I wanted him to think i was going there so he can leave me alone..she laught and said...well i think if FB had problem with it he would of say something to me or i would of heard about it from someone i did not heard nothng other then what Miss said as a joke...

I saw him on Sunday we talk a bit and when he left he goes (Bye Frenchy) calling me by my name so I pay attention that he was saing bye..

and after this Wendesday i txt him say something as a joke that I bought my early X-Mast present and that I need to have some one opinion his reply was (hmmmmm lol) that was it...

Now I wonder if today i should txt him and ask him if he wants to go for drink I know he will say he's buzy...but if he does maybe I should say to him that I have the feeling that he does not want to see me anymore or been friend with me and if that how he feel I can backoff he just need to let me knonw...is it to blunt to say...

Now i feel like crap since last friday because he was park there cause by my ex I have a hard time eating and it keep bothering me...

What should i do...!!!!

[HeartIsAching]

What should i do...!!!!

Um... retype that in English?

[frenchy]

Sorry that the best i can do..

[Cerby]

Um... retype that in English?

Je pense qu'elle parle français. frenchy, I think you need to just need to act like nothing happened. If you embrace being weird around them, then it validates any concern they might actually have.

[Wakeup]

Frenchy... you've been given advice about your ex and the FB that doesn't give two craps about you. If you're horny go buy a vibrator for your X-mas present to yourself and don't be beggin ANY guy to come and **** you. As for your ex. Call the police on him if he keeps following you.

If you want to be a FB or have a FB. YOU have to be the one in control of the situation because if you're not (and you aren't) you're going to end up looking needy and pathetic as you pretend that you don't have any feelings for him. Stay away from him and his drunk mother who laughs with them over your actions.

Don't you think you deserve better than all this, doll?

[frenchy]

Je pense qu'elle parle français. frenchy, I think you need to just need to act like nothing happened. If you embrace being weird around them, then it validates any concern they might actually have.

Oui je parle français....

Sorry I know my english is not the greatest but I try I learn on my own so sorry i know sometime i am hard to understand

Yes you right....I just that I have the feeling that he does not want to see me or associate with me much anymore well not that we talk tall the times but...I send him a txt this am early before he makes any plans if he wanted to hang out and have a few drinks tonight...now if he said that he's busy...what would you say..would you just say ok..well have a good night or would you add to it...( I notice that it seem you don't want to do much with me as friend and I value your friendship i like been around you but I would like to know if that what you want too if not you got to let me know so that we are on the same level....(is this sounds needy or desperate)

[Wakeup]

Frenchy... you've been given advice about your ex and the FB that doesn't give two craps about you. If you're horny go buy a vibrator for your X-mas present to yourself and don't be beggin ANY guy to come and **** you. As for your ex. Call the police on him if he keeps following you.

If you want to be a FB or have a FB. YOU have to be the one in control of the situation because if you're not (and you aren't) you're going to end up looking needy and pathetic as you pretend that you don't have any feelings for him. Stay away from him and his drunk mother who laughs with them over your actions.

Don't you think you deserve better than all this, doll?

[HeartIsAching]

Oui je parle français....

Sorry I know my english is not the greatest but I try I learn on my own so sorry i know sometime i am hard to understand

Yes you right....I just that I have the feeling that he does not want to see me or associate with me much anymore well not that we talk tall the times but...I send him a txt this am early before he makes any plans if he wanted to hang out and have a few drinks tonight...now if he said that he's busy...what would you say..would you just say ok..well have a good night or would you add to it...( I notice that it seem you don't want to do much with me as friend and I value your friendship i like been around you but I would like to know if that what you want too if not you got to let me know so that we are on the same level....(is this sounds needy or desperate)

My apologies. Didn't realize that you were a French speaker, though I should've thought about that given your Canadian flag.

[frenchy]

Frenchy... you've been given advice about your ex and the FB that doesn't give two craps about you. If you're horny go buy a vibrator for your X-mas present to yourself and don't be beggin ANY guy to come and **** you. As for your ex. Call the police on him if he keeps following you.

If you want to be a FB or have a FB. YOU have to be the one in control of the situation because if you're not (and you aren't) you're going to end up looking needy and pathetic as you pretend that you don't have any feelings for him. Stay away from him and his drunk mother who laughs with them over your actions.

Don't you think you deserve better than all this, doll?

I know Wakeup and you did gave me good advice...I just don't know what wrong with me....I have never felt like this for someone...even tho...I do agree that he's not gaving me much other sex...well he used to and I think i tend to think of the pass how he was...or maybe its because the first men that came around after my break up....but I wanted to I want to be able to just forget about him and move on...but its like something that pull me in and I don't know how to let go....

I would think that if I had family here it would be easier so that I could keep myself busy with them..

But now after last friday I feel like an ediot...because he does not know that my ex was after me and that this is why I was around his house and park down his street ....I have been feeling like this since Friday ..I should not after what he did lied to me in november that he was busy with friends and then had a girl with him all night long..but that just the way i am I worry about everything under the sky...

I just don't want him to think that I am some kind of freak chasing him down..but that was not the case I was getting chase down and try to pretend I was going to see FB so the ex leave me alone...but ...did not work very well.....

[frenchy]

My apologies. Didn't realize that you were a French speaker, though I should've thought about that given your Canadian flag.

hahaha....don't worry about it...apologies accepted...its ok....yes I originally was born in Trois-Rivieres Quebec and lived there until i was 21 then move to West Canadian (Winnipeg) I learn english on my own..so its not the greatest sometime....

Us french people when we talk we have the bad habit to explain everything in details...so when we translate in English its like we write a book... sorry about that...

[Wakeup]

Forget about what he thinks. Who cares he's just a person you **** once in a while (least that's how he views you for all intents and purposes). Stop hanging with his sister, his drunken mother and start a new life without these people in it.

It sounds like a hard thing to do but once you make a decision and actually understand that they are better OUT of your life then they ever will be IN it, you'll be strong enough to let them all just fade away. This FB knows he has you hooked so he doesn't have to put any effort in to use you for sex if his opportunities run dry so, he puts you on the shelf and leaves you there only to dust you off when the new relationship energy wheres of with (evidently) "Missy."

Don't disrespect yourself like this, Frenchy. Find some new friends, go to social services and tell them about the past abuse your ex subjected you to and ask them to help you out of the cycle. You can do it, you CAN get yourself away from these fair weather "friends" and be happy, healthy and surviving if you put your mind to it.

[frenchy]

Forget about what he thinks. Who cares he's just a person you **** once in a while (least that's how he views you for all intents and purposes). Stop hanging with his sister, his drunken mother and start a new life without these people in it.

It sounds like a hard thing to do but once you make a decision and actually understand that they are better OUT of your life then they ever will be IN it, you'll be strong enough to let them all just fade away. This FB knows he has you hooked so he doesn't have to put any effort in to use you for sex if his opportunities run dry so, he puts you on the shelf and leaves you there only to dust you off when the new relationship energy wheres of with (evidently) "Missy."

Don't disrespect yourself like this, Frenchy. Find some new friends, go to social services and tell them about the past abuse your ex subjected you to and ask them to help you out of the cycle. You can do it, you CAN get yourself away from these fair weather "friends" and be happy, healthy and surviving if you put your mind to it.

Its hard for me to forget about what he think..I know its pass and I can't change nothing its just annoying when people pass judgement and they did not even know what was going on..like that girl Miss who think i was spy on the FB ...I know he's just a person I **** once in a while...but I taught that in the begining he actually like me as a person this is why we did some stuff together...but then it went to see eachother almost everyday to nothing..that why I don't understand..why he was telling me all that stuff he wanted to go on holiday, he would not move out of here without me...he bought me stuff..if he did not care at least a bit...or is it me who is too stupid because i have no clue how its like now since i was in a relationship for 24 years.

Ya you right....I think he know that he's got me wrap up...and that I have a hard time to say no...and this is something I have to work on..not just with him and not just concerning sex ....I alway have a hard time to say No i don't want too...like if someone ask me to do something and I really don't want to do it...I will do it because I don't want to deceive them..but its not right because after its all done I am the one who is not happy...

[Wakeup]

Its hard for me to forget about what he think..I know its pass and I can't change nothing its just annoying when people pass judgement and they did not even know what was going on..like that girl Miss who think i was spy on the FB ...I know he's just a person I **** once in a while...but I taught that in the begining he actually like me as a person this is why we did some stuff together...but then it went to see eachother almost everyday to nothing..

Yes.. and that is exactly what players and fb's do. They get you hooked to them and then they back off while they work on the next girl in their "harem." He knows you're sticking around so he takes you for granted now while he does another (or other) women.

Ya you right....I think he know that he's got me wrap up...and that I have a hard time to say no...and this is something I have to work on..not just with him and not just concerning sex ....I alway have a hard time to say No i don't want too...like if someone ask me to do something and I really don't want to do it...I will do it because I don't want to deceive them..but its not right because after its all done I am the one who is not happy...

This is a big symptom of codependency. You can work through this if you read about codependency (what it is) and then get books on how to overcome it through working on your self-worth and becoming more assertive. If someone won't like you anymore because you said NO to doing something you don't want to do or its inconvenient to you then they are not worth being in your life to begin with. That is why it's important to be happy in your own skin so that if fair weather friends are gone from your life, you certainly won't miss them.

[frenchy]

Yes.. and that is exactly what players and fb's do. They get you hooked to them and then they back off while they work on the next girl in their "harem." He knows you're sticking around so he takes you for granted now while he does another (or other) women.

This is a big symptom of codependency. You can work through this if you read about codependency (what it is) and then get books on how to overcome it through working on your self-worth and becoming more assertive. If someone won't like you anymore because you said NO to doing something you don't want to do or its inconvenient to you then they are not worth being in your life to begin with. That is why it's important to be happy in your own skin so that if fair weather friends are gone from your life, you certainly won't miss them.

I have been like this all my life saying yes because i don't want to hurt the other person or I don't want them to think bad of me...but then I feel force to do it...and its does not making me feel good....I taught that it means that I have low self esteem?

I you were me it would not bother you what he think when he saw me there? I guess you would not let this worrying you all week for someone like that you would of just brush it off...

[Wakeup]

Well, I don't think I'd drive by a fb's house if I thought my ex, who is controlling and jealous, was following me. What I would have done is drive to the nearest police station or sub-station and explain to them that I'm being followed by an abusive ex and could they help me. Are you sure you're not hiding the truth from yourself, frenchy and you actually drove by your fb because you were jealous that the other two girls were going there???? (only you know the true answer to that).

If my (pretend) fb did see me do a driveby, then of course I would be embarassed, just like you because you know (as would I) that what you were doing was desperate and needy. Surely no one likes to feel or think that others think that we are deperate or needy. However, what is done is done and there is absolutely no reason why you should give a minute more energy to worrying about wtf any of these people think. Work on keeping away from them and not more worrying about what they all might think. ~ Oh and learn the lesson from this and stop doing drive-bys past your fb's house no matter what reason you think makes doing that ligit.