Getting asked out to the movies?

[ThomasCro]

So I hung out with this girl for 3 years, we had a platonic relationship (I first approached her because of her looks, but we got along so good that we decided we would not go the romantic route), she even told me she loved me in a weird kind of way even though we both were in relationships with other people.

Then all of a sudden she stopped contacting me, I heard that she got in a new relationship and figured that her boyfriend didn't allow her to continue seeing me (because I went through a relationship where I stopped seeing her, and after it ended we started hanging out again). I contacted her once 6 months ago but she didn't reply.

So a year later (we didn't see each other or speak a single word in a year), I asked her friend what's up with her. She told me that she ended the relationship with the guy a month ago and I took my chance and contacted her.

I wrote a text with something like "I was afraid to contact you because I didn't know if I did anything to deserve that you forgot I existed, tell me if it is something awful and I will leave you alone, your friend told me to call you but I didn't dare to."

She replied: "You fool! (in a playful kind of way) Nothing was the matter. When are we going to the movies? Thursday ?"

I was kind of shocked to see that text because we haven't spoken in a year, and we never went to the movies together.

I consider going to the movies a romantic thing (maybe it's not) and I feel weird now.

I asked "Wait, wait, wait, what the hell happened that we stopped seeing each other".

She responded "a lot"

I asked "did your boyfriend forbid you from seeing me?"

She replied "sort of, but not exactly" (whatever that means, I didn't want to bother her further, I want to clear that up when we see each other)

I then asked "was it something I did or had involvement in?"

She said "you are not to blame for anything"

We then proceeded to text a few messages reminiscing some fun times we had.

So now, my question is: Since we never ever went to the movies, and we haven't seen each other in a year, is this a sort of rebound attempt at having something more that just friendship? I never went to the movies with a female friend that wasn't my girlfriend.

I just want your opinions so I can be ready to respond to the situation.

Thank you very much for having the patience to read through my boring problems but any help would be greatly appreciated!

[smackie9]

Just go out with her and have a good time. Afterwards ask her out on a date, and make sure she knows it's a date. If she says no, then you will have your answer.

[ThomasCro]

I never said I wanted to ask her out, I don't.

I asked if you can presume from the provided information what her intentions are?

If she could possibly want a "rebound" off of me, I could go along with it because I want to help her, but if not, I don't want to make it awkward, and me asking for a date would certainly put things in a risky position.

[smackie9]

Don't know then. nothing obvious jumps out at me.

[ThomasCro]

Thanks for the reply anyway, hope someone else can figure it out.

[smackie9]

You will have to go by how she responds to you during and after the date. If you had GFs before that means you have some experience and really you don't need advice. Who cares if asking her out doesn't get you a positive response....this girl has never really had a strong presence in your life anyways....it's just a girl.

[smackie9]

Why is it so important to know?

[ThomasCro]

Because it is exactly the opposite, she is the single person that had the most influence on my life, the person whose opinions I value the most.

She told me she was too embarrassed to contact me after she broke up with the guy because she realized how little he meant to her compared to me.

The same thing happened when I stopped seeing her because of an overprotective girlfriend before, so I forgave her immediately.

If I could start getting her back in my life, I feel my life would improve in many ways.

[smackie9]

Ok I thought about it for a bit. I think it's just a friendship thing, just hanging out. She just welcomes any reason to go out and have some fun. But it doesn't have to stop there, things can change later.

[ThomasCro]

Thanks, I remember that we really avoided movies because it was too intimate, maybe she just changed as a person during the break, thanks!

[searock]

Why don't you want to ask her out, if you are so interested in her?

And: why did you "approach her because of her looks" if you were already taken? Or weren't you taken yet? If you weren't taken yet, why didn't you ask her out then?

[ThomasCro]

Why don't you want to ask her out, if you are so interested in her?

And: why did you "approach her because of her looks" if you were already taken? Or weren't you taken yet? If you weren't taken yet, why didn't you ask her out then?

I wasn't taken then, I asked her out and after spending some time together, we just figured out that a romantic relationship would complicate things too much and that we can enjoy hanging out without that. I'm not interested in her romantically.

[searock]

I wasn't taken then, I asked her out and after spending some time together, we just figured out that a romantic relationship would complicate things too much and that we can enjoy hanging out without that.

So basically you asked her out and she rejected you after a couple of dates (not as a friend, just as a romantic interest).

I'm not interested in her romantically.

So you wouldn't be happy if she kissed you at the cinema?

[ThomasCro]

So basically you asked her out and she rejected you after a couple of dates (not as a friend, just as a romantic interest).



So you wouldn't be happy if she kissed you at the cinema?

I asked her out because she was attractive, we went for a couple of drinks, then a girl that I liked longer told me that she liked me so I went for her, that relationship lasted for 6 months, and those were the first 6 months of me knowing the first girl (and therefore the friendship was founded over anything else), after that things subsided between me and the first girl, and it stayed that way.

I don't know how I would feel if she kissed me, I think we are compatible for a relationship, but relationships end, and when they end, so does contact with the person, but friendship lasts longer, thats why I would like to be friends.

[searock]

I think we are compatible for a relationship, but relationships end, and when they end, so does contact with the person, but friendship lasts longer, thats why I would like to be friends.

So tell her this ^ when you see her, so that everything is clear for the both of you.