Hi all.
I am new and I just joined and this is my first post...
Me and my husband have been married for 4 years and we currently have a 18 month old daughter.
I have a degree in Computing from UK (I was born and raised there but now live in Texas).
OH has a diploma. Dropped out of high school. Finished thru this online study thing....?
I earn more than him (does it matter....yes it does) I wish it was reversed so that I am the one to stay at home and look after our daughter.
He is working as a security guard on minimum wage.
My schedule is Monday to Friday 8-4 WORK - 10 mins drive away.
I come home around 4:15 (with traffic) and I go straight to the kitchen to cook, hubby still plonked on the dining table playing diablo III.
Just yesterday I went upstairs to shower (around the time DD usually has her daytime nap) I was blow drying my hair in the bathroom and kept thinking to myself....it's quiet downstairs...maybe DD is knocked out already (cause usually she is very loud).....finished in the shower, doing my hair etc... came down....hmmm no DD on the mattress (we sleep downstairs for convenience), walk around the corner, OH is still on the laptop playing Diablo III and DD knocked out on the CARPET!!! I said to him "WTF......really this is how it is when I'm at work!?!?!?! ****ing lazy ****, get off your ass and put her on the bed now!!!"
I mean seriously.....why can't it be me to give up my job and look after our DD!!! I'll do a much better job AND I'll keep the house clean at the same time!!
For some people having a JOINT income in ONE bank account works.,.... but for me it's the opposite....
He has no discipline in money whatsoever.....
the rent is $1050. He pays $340, I pay the rest.
We go halves on Electricity bill (which is around $170 a month)
Halves on Time warner cabler (which is around $123 a month)
Halves on water bill (which is around $80) a month)
He gets paid around $700 every 2 weeks on Fridays.
I make around $800 every week and get paid every 2 weeks on Fridays.
It will not change if I were to say to him, lets go into a joint account and put all our money in there and I'm the one to manage it (yes filipino custom!!) my mum did it, my aunts did it etc.....
now, would it be fair if i said give me all your money so I can mange the bills and rent more etc.... no that wouldn't be fair....of course I don't want to take all his money and leave him broke....after all he spends $20 here and there on his Diablo game buying items and what not.....
It's just been getting worse, saging the house hasn't made one bit of difference. I swear sometimes I think to myself I have married the devil!!!!
We still argue aLOT! and it's to do with the fact that he GAMES GAME GAMES GAMES and not the mention jerking off EVERY DAY!!!
Yeh, I'd like to NOT be a busy mom for once just so I can give HIM the good loving he always bloody craves for!
He will never be in my shoes running errands, cooking, cleaning, having to calm down DD if she's crying or wanting a partner to play with or to have someone to read books to her!!
He says he;s so tired just before he goes to work, yet never takes a nap when she is napping but like 1 hr before he heads off to work in the evenings.....
Of course I envy stay at home moms!! Like my brother is also in IT in London and his wife stays at home (for now) to look after their 6 month old.
But I can't do that because OH says he will never be able to MATCH my income....well, if only he didn't drop out of school and actually worked hard to get a degree or get some valuable work experience.....but instead, he knocks up his ex GF 9 years ago, leaves when the baby is 10 months old, gives him up for adopition (signed his parental right away) to her ex GF husband (who is in the Army), did drugs with his friends, ran away a couple of times, its like his on MOTHER didn't give him any grounding...
and that woman is something else!!!
I am hear to read your critics, your advice's...