
Originally Posted by
HDBadger
I don't know the OPs whole story, but I'll add my perspective, so people can maybe understand where a long-time single dude is coming from.
I've been single for about two-and-a-half years. In that time, I've hung out with some women, and had the odd date here or there, but, for the most part, I've been solidly single. As background, I've had relationships ranging from several months to almost five years. I'm 31. I'm not much of a hookup type of guy. I've done it, but that's not my thing. I'm more of the committed boyfriend type. I have a good job, went to a great college, and consider myself a cool, funny, and intelligent guy. As far as looks go, I would say I'm average. I'm short and thin, but totally happy with how I look. That being said, I have no problem admitting plenty of other guys have a leg up on me in respect to appearance.
And I'm single. I don't say that negatively or positively. Just stating a fact. If I had to hazard a guess why I'm single, I would say it's because of two reasons: 1) The status of the modern dating/hookup/male-female interaction scene is more or less beyond me. It seems convoluted, disingenuous, and generally a PITA. And 2) I meet very few women who have the cominbation of intelligence and the laid back attitude that I like. I don't do drama. At all. There are TONS of things I can accept in a relationship. Drama isn't one of them. I'm open to different appearances when it comes to women, don't care one bit how much money she has, and am not picky about age.
Here's a good point to admit I've never quite understood all the rigarmarole that people put themselves through with dating. If I see someone I'm attracted to, I approach her. If she still seems like a decent person after we talk, I'll ask her out. Once the process becomes more complex than that, I get uncomfortable, and tend to be turned off.
Also, I have no problem admitting I haven't had sex in the past two-and-a-half years. I do think women sometimes see men as sex crazed lunatics who just want action. More often that not, it's not true.
So, I guess what I'm saying here is the state of being single is rarely cut and dried.
Finally, I'll say that women have it much easier in the *early* stages of dating. Just sit around and look cute. Maybe put in a little effort and chat to the guy sitting next to you. Ain't that tough, or at least compared to what guys are expected to do. After that, the playing field levels, and dating/relationships become very much a two-way street.