not ready for a relationship

[noumenal]

Here's the deal. I met a girl who is pretty much my ideal. I'm basically incapable of even considering other girls after having met her. I've known her for about 7 months now and she has told me straight up that she isn't ready for a relationship and doesn't desire one at the moment. She initially expressed a great deal of interest in me, but decided she wasn't ready to date yet after her last relationship. But sometimes when we talk she drops little hints that she still likes me. I know she isn't talking to any other guys; she avoids them entirely so she is pretty serious about not dating. For the record, she is not the type of girl to just "toy" with a guy (you'll have to trust me on this one). I almost get the feeling she wants me to wait for her but doesn't want to tell me. I've been trying to talk to other girls during this time, but I keep coming back to her. Anyway, advice on how to proceed would be appreciated.


thanks

[basilandthyme]

You ask how to proceed. Your choices are either: put your life on hold for someone who's not wanting the same thing as you....or move on.

And I may add that I've known quite a number of people who didn't want a relationship, who then instantly changed their mind when they met Mr/Ms Right. It's possible that you may wait for her only to have her fall for someone else.

[Spannarack]

Like has been said above, either wait and be patient or move on. If she says she doesn't want a relationship, then she doesn't want one..or she doesn't want one with you. She may be trying to be polite and not hurt your feelings. At the moment your both single so flirting is allowed and is only natural. She's getting attention and that feels good after a breakup, its an ego boost.

Id maybe give her a little push and if the answer is still no, then it might be time to cut your losses and move on

[noumenal]

Like has been said above, either wait and be patient or move on. If she says she doesn't want a relationship, then she doesn't want one..or she doesn't want one with you. She may be trying to be polite and not hurt your feelings. At the moment your both single so flirting is allowed and is only natural. She's getting attention and that feels good after a breakup, its an ego boost.

Id maybe give her a little push and if the answer is still no, then it might be time to cut your losses and move on

Should I tell her how much I like her? Should I just wait and then tell her? She broke up with this guy like 9 months ago, but apparently still isn't quite over it.

[basilandthyme]

You could tell her now if you want - as long as you're tough enough to cope if she tells you again that she's not ready.

Honestly though, I think it's more of a matter of you not being 'the one'. I bet she'll recover quickly when she finds the right guy.

[ivwiwba]

Superb! Generally I never read whole articles but the way you wrote this information is simply amazing and this kept my interest in reading and I enjoyed it.

[noumenal]

Honestly though, I think it's more of a matter of you not being 'the one'. I bet she'll recover quickly when she finds the right guy.

Yeah. I have considered this. To be fair her last relationship was pretty messed up. I guess I need to do something relatively soon.

[VincenzoG91]

Honestly though, I think it's more of a matter of you not being 'the one'. I bet she'll recover quickly when she finds the right guy.

In my experience, this is exactly it. She doesn't want to hurt the OP's feelings by directly rejecting him, so she claims that she is "not ready for a relationship."

OP, move on. You're not going to be happy dwelling in the friendzone, especially when she meets and falls for some random dude next month or so.

[noumenal]

In my experience, this is exactly it. She doesn't want to hurt the OP's feelings by directly rejecting him, so she claims that she is "not ready for a relationship."

I would believe that if not for the fact her actions indicate otherwise. She hasn't talked to another guy or gone on a date or attempted to since she broke up. She is very religious and introverted. She's not your usual bar hopping, weekend party girl. She's only been in one real relationship in her life. When I mentioned I was talking to another girl she showed a lot of interest and kept asking me questions about her (and also began talking to me more again).

[noumenal]

OP, move on. You're not going to be happy dwelling in the friendzone, especially when she meets and falls for some random dude next month or so.

I'm actually quite happy being her friend which is part of the reason I don't want to tell her how I feel. I don't want to ruin a good friendship if that's not how she feels.