Guys, please helP!! I need your advice. I am unhappy..

[jasmin2012]

HI, i have a boyfriend with whom I have been together for over 2.5 years. We were groupmates in the university, and he fell in love with me during those years. From the very first days of our relationship, he was writing me every 2-3 days (not everyday). I was surprised why he was not writing me everyday...
Then we intensified our relationship and started dating every weekend (as we both were working and could meet only on weekend). His work regime was extremely tough and was leaving job at 11-12 PM everyday and thats why he was calling once a day. I was always complaining about it. Because I was missing him and needed to hear his voice at least 3 times a day. I needed his attention... 1 year passed (during this 1 year we frequently had problems because of his inattentiveness). And then we went for master degree to different countries (for a year). I thought he would miss me more because we were apart.. We could only meet every 4 months..I was missing him.. For the first 3 monthes we were talking on skype everyday...but once his exams started, we even started skyping every 2-3 weeks... It was sooo ****ing bad.. Bcoz I though he did not miss me and did not need to talk to me. this time he told me that he had a lot of courses to study and he cant manage to skype with me. But i dont think this should be a reason! If a person wants he can do it in whichever way. I also had many courses,but i did find time to skype with him, bcoz i was missing and wanted to hear his voice and see him visually. Then we started fighting almost every 3-4 days because of his lack of time and attention to me. I was fighting that he could find time if he loved me, but he told the reverse and told that he loved me lot and skyping, messaging is not an indicator of love..
But one note: I know that he is a panic man!! He is always under pressure and always worried/also inefficient/unconcentrated. He is always worried that if he cant manage to complete the task assigned to him/or fails exams it will be a tragedy for him. He is not a psychologically strong man. He is always complaining, and worried. He is soo deep into the job/university courses that he even may neglect me. But actually I do believe that he cannot do without me and he doesnt want to lose me! After I came back to my home country (to my family) I dared to say him that I want to break up because I dont believe and trust him anymore. And he insisted that he won't break up! After he came back from master study he insisted me to meet and talk with him. And we met.. After he looked into my eyes, and saw me breaking up, he started crying over and over and he told he cannot live without me and he was crying by heart... I am more than sure that he did not want to break up...Because i felt he loved me. He insisted and then we made up...ANd then after 2 monthes we got engaged. And now 3 monthes passed from engagement and he still works in the same company and still complains about lacking time to meet with me. He even sometimes goes to work on weekends and even weekends we cannot meet ... It hurts me again.. I dont know what to do. I know he doesnt want to break up but he doesnt miss me bcoz he is always under pressure and deep into his job...when i complain abt this, he always says he tries his best to make money for our future...But i am not satisfied with this explanation.. I still expect him to miss me and find somehow time for me (at least once a week). Plz advise what I should do. Should I trust him? Or is he bored of me?

[Manager32]

Plz advise what I should do.

Quit being so needy would be a good place to start.

He's taking care of his work responsibilities and he's being honest when he tells you that he doesn't have as much time to see you as he would like. You can either accept that and adapt or you can dump him and find a guy that has the time and patience to accommodate your neediness.

[Rowen]

I agree with the previous post a little bit...but at the same time, I believe that you should try finding things to do (like with friends) to occupy yourself. One of the things I've found is that when you eliminate the countless hours you're just sitting around doing nothing, you're also eliminating the amount of anxiety you have about your relationship. I'm not saying do this to grow apart. However, give him a little space and don't panic... Then go on and try to talk to him. In the end, if you do this and he only grows further away from you, then obviously he needs to work on relaxing himself and it's best to break up, at least for a long while.

Regardless, I think that distance will eventually make him wonder. And when he starts to wonder he'll start contacting you. Everyone just needs space. It's that simple.

[ashley89]

you are too needy, it sounds like you just sit around and obsess about talking to him. I mean when you said you needed to hear his voice at least 3 times a day? that is borderline crazy. I agree with Rowen, find some activities or join a club so you can get out there and do things you enjoy. hang out with friends, read a book, go for a walk. if he says he does love you and is busy, you need to just accept that. if you keep persisting and pressure him to admit how much he misses and loves you, you are actually going to drive him in the opposite direction. you should be happy you have a man who is so hardworking and dedicated so he can save money for your future. don't ruin it by acting like this