we are both unhappy

[randomv]

My husband has been depressed for about 9 months now. A few months ago he started going to a therapist and they have him on some medication. He was suicidal for a while, but he thinks the medicine is helping now.

For the last half year or so, any sexual relations we have had were initiated by me. He has put in very little effort, but when something physical would happen, he seemed to enjoy it. But, it has started to wear on me and make me feel unloved and frustrated. I stopped trying about 2 months ago to see what would happen...if he would start trying to initiate something or just let our sex life die. He has let it die. I've brought it up to him 3 times(each time about a week apart) in hopes that he would put in more effort. Each time he said he would try but never did. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've said anything and nothing has changed.

I know he loves me and is not cheating. He is almost completely dependent on me financially and emotionally. I am really unhappy and have thought about leaving him but I know that would hurt him so much. I do love him and I do not want him to hurt himself.

I am just so sexually frustrated. I have started fantasizing about one of my close friends and it's making me feel guilty. Nothing would ever happen because he is happily married, but I still think about it all the time. And, if he were into me, I am not sure how strong willed I would be.

Some days I just want to pack my stuff up while he is out and leave.

Does anyone have some advice? I could really use some. Thanks

[Agape]

Maybe the medicine is affecting his sex drive? . . . perhaps you could change them?

but he should be "almost completely dependent on me financially and emotionally" . . .that just makes him even more unstable if things go bad, also gives tons of pressure on you to perform

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Remember, u can only do so much for love. But, in the end its ur happiness ya? Hey, have ur fantasy's cuz it wouldnt hurt. Go to a spa and baby urself and just continue with d fantasy imo

[sparkle_jello]

This sucks. I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I am a very pessimistic person, not to be confused with depressed, but being pessimistic you would think it would be easy to deal with depressed people... it's not.

I'm the type of person where if my husband and I are not happy, we would find a way around it by either divorcing or having an open marriage. It's not fair for you to have to take care of him, and not have your needs met.

[Only-virgins]

You are taking care of him financially as well? Where the hell do these guys find women like you?! Sign me up!

[sparkle_jello]

You are taking care of him financially as well? Where the hell do these guys find women like you?! Sign me up!

Seriously, it's like an epidemic. I have so many female friends that have lazy good for nothing husbands that don't do anything. They sit at home, and instead of doing the chores they add to the chores. I've lost friends because I couldn't get along with their husbands for this reason.

[Only-virgins]

Seriously, it's like an epidemic. I have so many female friends that have lazy good for nothing husbands that don't do anything. They sit at home, and instead of doing the chores they add to the chores. I've lost friends because I couldn't get along with their husbands for this reason.

Yea, I would imagine a woman would lose respect for her man who is completely relying on her for everything. Specially if he won't even make love to her. This guy doesn't need pills for depression because I think we just found the cause of it. I would feel depressed if I was depending on a woman the entire time. I don't think she understands how much power she has over him.

[girl68]

Can you go with him to therpy?

[Sonrisa]

i think you are wasting your time on him. he is nothing but a lazy ahole who is living off of you. if you don't break this now, you'll make the rest of your life miserable and hate and blame him for it all. where in fact YOU should be the responsible for kicking some sense into him by moving out. if that doesn't work and he is not changed, then you made the right choice by freeing yourself.

[justcheckin]

Anti-Depressants will destroy his sex drive. Or any drive for that matter. They are not something to depend on, they are just numbing reality.