Need female point of view on this !

[sicilian1645]

I am confused about a female friend. We have been friends for a few years now. Over the years I feel there has been a spark between us and I have hinted in text messages to her that I like her more than just a "friend"

In response she never really says anything to lead me on or give me hope but there have been a few indictors that she is keen on me. On FB and in text messages she will often leave kisses for others in her messages but tends not to leave kisses for me !

When we are in company and sitting next to each other she will get very close and seems to be happy is our legs touch or have body contact, she never pulls away. Out last week ina group (including her husband) we were playing footsie under the table and
in the end she had her leg resting against mine under the table. I know for a fact that she has my nickname as "handsome!" on her email list . I am just not sure why she is happy to have this physical contact with me but will never let her guard down in text / email or on FB. Why would she leave kisses for other males but never for me ? Does she seem interested in me or am I just reading too much into it ?she also tends to playfully hit me when we're in company and often asks me to try her drink or taste some of her food ....are these signs of attraction or just being friendly ?

[smackie9]

If she is doing shit like that to you and other stuff mentioned to others means there are things lacking in her marriage, like attention she isn't getting from him. Some women need constant attention from guys to get a "lift" to feel good about herself. This behavior is usually derived from low self esteem, also can be from boredom, or used as an escape from an unsatisfying relationship.

Ask her if her playing footsie under the table isn't a game her husband likes, and is it OK with him that she does it with another man. Wait for her reaction after you say that...maybe it's the dose of reality that she needs.

[Wakeup]

Yea.. I like that idea.. ask her does her husband not mind her playing footsie with other men and then shut up and listen. You won't do that though because you're afraid you'll scare her away and you like being stagnated and being without your OWN girlfriend so you stay in your fantasy about her intentions.

Why be a fool to her tidbits when you can have the whole kabooddle with someone who isn't married? Do you fear commitment so she's "safe" to you because she's unable to actually commit? Look within and do the necessary self-reflection you should be doing to find out why you'd stoop to cuckholding some other man's woman... or even allowing her to disrespect you, him,her and their relationship.

[sicilian1645]

Thank you for your answer smackie.I fully agree with you that something is lacking in her mrrage,I think its just dull for her. I thin asking her the question you suggest would maybe be a step to far at this stage. Because she/ we do what we have doesn't mean that I should back her into a corner or make her feel bad over it, I fail to see what that would acheive ! I am grateful for your response and I will give it some thought. thx

[sicilian1645]

Wakeup ! I didn't come on here to take abuse from you or anyone else. Like most people I am here to look for advice,I will do that in a polite way and not in the sorry fashion that you have chosen to answer my question. If it's all the same to you I will wait and see what others have to say. You have said nothing that gives me anything to think about but thank you all the same for taking the time to answer.

[smackie9]

Dude not addressing this and just going along with what she is doing is just confirming with her that this is acceptable to you....is it? How would you feel if your wife was doing this?

It is inappropriate. I have to agree with Wakeup that you fear scaring her away...obviously you want this to continue and possibly head into a direction of an affair, hence the question "I feel there has been a spark between us.....are these signs of attraction or just being friendly? Wake up didn't insult you in any way...her observation and advice is quite valid.

You are just came here looking for someone to tell you "YES! she wants you bad go for it!"

[Wakeup]

Wakeup ! I didn't come on here to take abuse from you or anyone else. Like most people I am here to look for advice,I will do that in a polite way and not in the sorry fashion that you have chosen to answer my question. If it's all the same to you I will wait and see what others have to say. You have said nothing that gives me anything to think about but thank you all the same for taking the time to answer.

Wakeup dude and smell the coffee. I wrote what I see from what you've shared with us. If you don't like it then feel free to continue on in your fantasy and disrespect. Obviously what I had to say touched a nerve... now you just have to acknowledge the validity of what I say as being (at the very least) somewhat true and then, do the necessary backing away from her so that you're emotionally open to finding someone who is free to give you more than the odd foot-connection under the table and behind her husband's seeing eyes.