Female point of view needed...

[Aiea]

I am in the process of making some changes in my life which includes giving my wife the divorce she says she wants. I recently found notes and letters (fell out of a storage box) of hers from a month before we got married. They basically state that she did not love me but I was the best "husband" material. Through the years she has indicated she wants a divorce unless I change but she can never say specifically what I need to change. So she has lied about loving me from day one. I did find that she lied about several things from her past, and they aren't things that she needs to hide. Overall she claims she never lies, she stands strong on everything out of principle, and has high morals. I've tried marriage counseling with her, she will go a few times and then never return, one therapist said she really needs some help. I'm not perfect either. Should love be a key ingredient in a marriage?


Question 1: Should I be concerned that she told her friends & journal before we got married that she didn't love me?
Question 2: Is there any chance that confronting her on this can be beneficial?
Question 3: Is divorce a good option?

[emmaman]

Ok this is a good one because i sound abit like your wife. I wasnt sure about my feelings when i got married 7yrs ago but i did love my husband (not in love). I just thought that was what love was and the natural progression was to get married and have kiddies. My feelings became clear to me about 2yrs ago but i hung onto him because he is such a decent man and men like that are hard to find! Unfortunately for me we did split beginning of april this year because it was eating me up inside. I think the best option for you is to sit her down and ask her what her true feelings are for you and i think you should definately be concerned about the journal you found. Sounds to me like you need to get of it before either of you lose more years just like me and my ex. Find someone who truly loves you.

[smackie9]

Divorce her. Some women just wed for the conveinence and she is no acception. There is no reason to drag out what you know about the letters, for what would they really do? make the divorce even messier. You already know what she is all about....so it's rather pointless now. I would keep them as a barganing tool for your lawyer if she starts to make huge financial demands.