My lady and I have been together nearly 4 years now but recently she's mentioned a loss of sexual attraction to me. Well one thing led to another. She wanted space to see if the absence would help her miss being with me. All her confusion and shifty emotions were dragging me under and eventually I had to break it off fully. I cut all communication so she can have her "space" without keeping her foot in the door so to speak. We have been quite into each other for a long time and I honestly thought "this was the one." I was planning on asking her to marry me after we finished up all our schooling and everything. But it seemed almost overnight... We were semi-long distance by the way... Just a couple hours apart though which was a temporary situation... One month she's crazy for me. The next time I see her she's losing attraction but not telling me. The next month she lays it out on me and we spend a while trying to correct it and go on dates and rekindle it. That fails. Then she asks for a break so she can attempt to miss me. Then I break up with her... Apparently she's absolutely torn now. Not by the fact that we broke up so much, but by the fact that she feels she's lost me as a friend... We were nearly inseparable emotionally.
I don't know what to do. Honestly I am head over heals for this lady. She is average at best, but I have never felt deeper companionship with anyone else. I talked with one of my friends who went through a very similar situation. He said he cut off all contact with the girl, kept living his life, being a happy person and doing his thing, and by a months time she was calling him back balling her eyes out because she felt so left out of his life and was asking to be back.
I don't know... I guess I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing. I wasn't mean about it. I just told her I was too hurt to continue on like this. She wanted her space so I gave it to her. I feel so stuck I want to be with her but I don't want her to be unattracted to me. I honestly couldn't picture my life with anyone else though... Do you think it's likely she would become attracted to me after a little distance and missing what we had? I mean... that was her idea from the beginning. I just can't tell how realistic that is. She absolutely loves me and kept telling me "we're going to make this work" but I could just tell that it wasn't working the way we were going about it... I'm hoping a little soul searching will do the trick. But I just don't know how one fixes a loss of sexual attraction... It's just never happened for me so I can't relate.