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Thread: I've got it bad REAL bad

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Female
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    I've got it bad REAL bad

    I have it bad for a guy at work. So bad it is like torture. I see him weekdays only at work (we work away and stay on site) we live in different towns. He is very friendly towards me, and seems interested in the way he looks at me and in some questions he has asked.

    Now I know he has a girlfriend - I know it is serious enough but not wedding bells and kids serious.
    So this alone has me trying to stuff my feelings into a box and filing it. Well mostly that and the fact we work together. It now makes me a bit awkward around him, and avoiding his table at the after work drinks which makes me seem a bit rude.

    I was married and have been single now for two years. This is the first time I have felt this way about anyone since. So don't get thinking this is normal behaviour for me.

    Even typing this I get knots in my stomach.
    I'm not sure what to do, I'm just backing right off, but a piece of me makes me think, what if he does feel the same way? I could be missing out on something that could be amazing. And I'll never know. If he doesn't - it will be career suicide as he is about to become a supervisor.

    HELP!!

    Back to work with him tomorrow.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Female
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    1,066
    There are plenty of guys out there who you can recreate this "special feeling" you have for him. Don't fixate on him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
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    Male
    Location
    Oakville, Ontario
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    507
    Well, dating and working together most of the time, doesn't mix. Your other employees will think that you got promoted, if that happens because of him, and not your credentials. and efffort.
    He has a girlfriend currently, so not sure if rushing for him is the right thing to do, and as it goes that females are attracted to what they can't have applies.
    I know that you weren't looking to like him that much, but you'll have to get over it, and find someone outside of your work, because it will be good for the two of you, as you don't want to jeopardize your career because you have feelings, just treat him like the other employees and leave it alone.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Surrey, BC
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    15,542
    You are just obsessing, and what is happening to you is quite typical when people work with someone closely. You form a social bond with them, and it can turn into a crush. Your feelings for him are clouding your better judgement, and making this into something it's not ....a missed opportunity to be with the love of your life. You are in fantasy land and what is really going on with him is that you are just another co-worker that he enjoys having a conversation or two with. You have 3 things against you, one he has a GF, two you will make yourself look unprofessional, and three, you are jeopardizing his job as well as yours. It's not worth it. Trust me this thing will wear off, and you will be glad you restrained yourself.

    You need to keep dating and getting yourself out there. Ask a friend or two if they know any single guys.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Ireland
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    9,938
    Your infatuated and you need to stop it now. He has a gf which means he is off limits. Stay away-focus on meeting someone else and get on with your life

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    Female
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    Fair comments, I'll keep it locked in the box.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Female
    Posts
    1,085
    he has a girlfriend, I know it's tough when you really like someone but you don't want to ruin someone else's relationship. you can find a guy who is single and you actually have a chance to have a relationship with!

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