My girlfriend never says "I love you", but I know she does

[superpaul]

If I say it she says she loves me too, but I haven't heard her saying it first. We've been together for 3 months and I feel she loves me, because she always lights up after seeing me and I can feel it in her smile. We spend a lot of time together and she grabs my hand to hold it and other displays of affection (I feel kind of guilty now because I'm like to shy to grab hers first). As I'm shy to grab hers first, I kind of feel she is shy to say "I love you" first. We're not that too romantic type, I don't randomly insert "I love you" while we're talking. For example, today we talked about another girl and I had the occasion to tell her how special and different she is compared to other girls and that that's why I love her and appreciate her so much. Do you think it's ok if she doesn't say she loves me, but she simply shows it and I feel it? I simply feel a little paranoid because I love her so so much and want to be sure she loves me too. Could she just be shy? Thanks!

[HeartIsAching]

You just have different love languages. She's physically demonstrative and you're verbal.

[pcmaster]

Be a man, take a lead. You sound like a vegetable(I'm like to shy to grab hers first) Ussually a girl would write about same insecurities like you do now.

I think you have to earn yet to hear these words. She likes you a lot so bring the game with you - hold her kiss her, make her feel good and say sweet words. Say it first.

Sure its easy to say and in reality you dont feel like a brave macho man. Its probably cause you think about her all the time - thats what makes you so useless. Get your mind of from her - spend time with friends, other girls etc. Only time when you should think about her is when shes in the distance of the touch.

However you are lucky - shes sounds like a brave girl - it could be your shyness that makes her brave, but it should be other way around. You should be the leader if you realy wana make this work.

[smackie9]

It's only been three months, you are still getting to know one another, give it more time.

[superpaul]

Thanks a lot for the replies! I'm just afraid it might feel a little bit awkward or that maybe she wouldn't like it, but I'll try to lose some of my shyness. Indeed, I'm always with my mind on her, haha! I'm so paranoid because I'm just afraid of ever losing her. Since we've been together, I don't think there have been more than 2 or 3 times I went out without her.

Another thing I'd like an opinion on: We usually go out with other people and don't go out to places by ourselves. I love to spend time only with her and I'm sure she does too, but we sometimes run out of things to talk about and I find that awkward silence really... awkward! Do you have any suggestions for that? On the 15th is actually our 3 month anniversary, and I planned to kind of recreate the date that started our relationship and I've actually written things to talk about on my PC so I will remember them on that day. Yes, I'm that paranoid haha! I've also written her a poem(not a too straight-forward romantic one, just as I don't simply say "I love you") to give her on that day.

To smackie9: Indeed, it might be that too. I remember on the first date after we had started our relationship she didn't even kiss me and as the time passed by she gave longer and longer kisses haha. Now she just hurries to come to me and kiss me. I didn't even think about it, thank you too!

[smackie9]

Hey when you have to awkward shy people together things will take a little longer to feel more comfortable. The best thing to do on a date is to do something or go somewhere that will stimulate conversation, like seeing a good move or share an interest.

[Gale]

I'm the same way. I have trouble saying it but that doesn't mean I don't love.

"I love you too" seems to be easy as a rebound reply and when I do say it first, I listen for that rebound sound in return. That auto reply.
I have a hard time expressing my feelings unless something is wrong. Then it all comes out in buckets.
Being loved is a hard thing for me to do. Showing it, even harder.

[pcmaster]

Some girls are like a dream... until you afraid to lose them. - Thats when nightmare begins. So its a big mistake to be afraid(Because everything you do will be super importand since you dont wana lose her and some things will be too big to do and say - so you can miss A LOT of fun like that). Its not about how long are you together its about how good it is. And the same thing about dates - 5 hour date will have a lot of silence moments at the end, so keep dates shorter and leave before it becomes uncomfortable.

[superpaul]

Thank you all for the replies and suggestions, really helpful stuff. I guess my problem is solved, but opinions from other people are also welcome, too!

[virgil90]

maybe she is afraid you wont say you love her back...

[virgil90]

I know that was how I felt with my ex and saying things like that.