After my one and only relationship ended after seven years, because of a psychic's magical reading which basically told my girlfriend that I wasn't good enough... (along with a lot of other random made up crap)
I have basically went back to how I was when I was a teenager, super reserved and timid. I haven't so much as talked to a girl my age since I became single. I don't really feel like I'm worthy of other people's time.
There is one girl who I work with, who seemed interested.. The first time she talked to me, well only time, she was very friendly.. Such a cute voice.. I was taken by surprise and my response wasn't even in English, I don't think. I was pretty mad at myself for being such an oaf. Anyways, I really wanted the chance to talk to her again, and maybe redeem myself a little. But, of course every time I would have the chance to say something, I just painfully remind myself of how lame and worthless I feel... so I'd pretend that I didn't even notice her around work.
Valentines day was coming up, and I happened to learn the girls name by accident when a supervisor was pointing at a poster and said "right over there next to the lovely and talented (her first and last name)" she blushed and moved so people could see it.
So........... I just acted without thinking. They were doing a Valentine's day thing where you could send people a gift, and they would deliver it. I did it. I put her name on the card, and bought some flowers, and sent it to her... I didn't write who it was from though.
"Perfect" I thought. Mostly because I really can't handle any more rejection this year, quite yet.
but in reality, where we all live, its not "Perfect". I'm a coward. I feel like a creep, too. Sigh.... I just wanted to see her smile, since she is usually wearing a sad/serious look.
Being a creepy worthless coward is a pretty horrible feeling.