Should I be worried

[ConfusedRomance]

Ok, so here's the back story. I've been seeing a wonderful single mom I met online for about three months. Up until three weeks ago everything seemed to be going fine. She made it a point to let me know she was excited to see me. Every time I came over to her house she greeted me with a big hug and a kiss. She was affectionate towards me. I work nights and she works during the day. She would send me a text message both at night telling me to have a good night and then one in the morning asking me how my night was. These texts while short and some may say not very significant were important to me because they made me feel wanted. Although we've been dating for three months we've never talked about being exclusive.

Three weeks ago things started to change:

1. She no longer greets me with a giant hug and kiss when I see her.
2. She no longer tells me or makes me feel like she's excited to see me.
3. The text messages started to trail off and now are non existent.
4. The physical intimacy which used to come so easily isn't anymore (I find myself having to initiate hand holding, kisses and other forms of physical contact).

I wasn't very worried because last week she was sick so I figured that along with working and being a single mom was the main issue. But on Monday being curious I wondered if she was still using her online profile (I hadn't signed on in over two and 1/2 months because I felt we were dating and it wouldn't be right). To my surprise she had been online that day.

I went over to her place that night feeling unwanted and worried she was seeing guys other than me. Because she was still sick I didn't want to bring up my worries and concerns. When we went to bed I reached over to give her a kiss goodnight but she rolled away from me. This bothered me all night and early in the morning I decided to get up and leave. She walked me out, gave me a hug and a kiss. After getting home I received a text message from her asking me if everything was okay. Instead of telling her it was something we should talk about in person I tried to explain my feelings over a series of texts (bad decision I know). She became upset and basically told me she was a single mom, sick, working a lot and was just really tired. She also told me she figured I was upset because she didn't want to have sex that night (which couldn't be farther from the truth. It was all about feeling unwanted by her). While I was not sorry for my feelings I know how I handled things (passive aggressive) was the completely wrong thing to do. I apologized and she eventually told me things happen.

So tomorrow night she's coming over and I plan on sitting down, talking to her about my feelings and explaining (in person) exactly why I did what I did. I have several questions:

1. How do I bring up the things she has done (or not done) to make me feel unwanted without verbally attacking her.
2. Since we haven't talked about being exclusive should I be worried or even bring up her online activity (she was online as recently as today).
3. Should I ask her to stop using her online profile.
4. Is it appropriate for her to still be using her online profile (since we've been dating for three months and I felt we were getting serious).

I would appreciate anything you can tell me.

[roxy8855]

1. Just open up to her and express that you miss those things. Don't ask her why she's hasn't been doing them. Just say that you miss them and her doing them.

As far the other things, I think first you just need to flat out ask her to be exclusive with you. and only you. Before you do anything. Since you have not yet established this with her, I think you need to define your relationship before you start accusing her of the online profile stuff. That could get pretty defensive and she could walk. So just establish the type of relationship as in are we gf/bf or FWB?

Make sense?