My ex and I were together almost six months, and we were very madly in love. We broke up about 6 weeks ago, and I've been having a rough time handling it all. I have depression and he has been my rock the past few months. He was thinking about breaking up because he couldn't handle the distance anymore. I can't give him the real physical touch and affection he craves for. We both crave it, but I am/was patient enough to wait on it until we could be together. When I told him I was letting him go, he said "Maybe we can try this again in a year or two, when you run your life." (I have crazy family problems that limited my time with him)
Two weeks after we broke up, he got a job and I've noticed on his facebook that he's already been hanging out with some new girls. He has been talking to me since the breakup, and he has been quiet flirty. Especially last week, he talks like we never even broke up. He's said "I love you" a couple times, I told him the same. We skyped a couple weeks ago, and ended up getting naughty. I feel guilty about it to be honest. While we were skyping and I took my top off he said "I can't wait until you're here and I can play with you in person"
I am trying my best to handle this well, but deep down, I'm a torn up mess. I live out on a farm with my parents in the middle of nowhere in Florida. I don't get a chance to get out much, and even if I did, I'd have nowhere to go. Plus, I do not have any friends near me. While he lives in Pheonix, has a job, lots of friends, etc.
I feel like he's gained so much from the breakup, and I've lost the only person and thing I actually had faith in. I feel so empty, and everything is so pointless to me.
He also asked about some guy who has been flirting with me. He said "eh, don't worry about him. You're mine." But I made some sort of status the other night about a guy I kinda like, and he messaged me, and he seemed really jealous. Yet he adds all these beautiful women on his profile, and I see him flirting with them. But I do not say anything, no matter how much the pain hurts.
This week we didn't talk as much, and he called me "dude" which I thought was odd. I feel so ugly next to all of those beautiful women he talks to. Some of them are models. I'm just some clumsy little farm girl.
Why would he tell me that the distance is killing him, yet he tells me he loves me and flirts with me after we break up? I am so lost here.
I want to ask him why he's acting like this but I'm scared that would drive him away. I want him back. I want to be with him. I need him. I can only hope I'll be with him by the time I leave this farm next summer. Please give me your opinions and advice. I am totally lost. I always thought if two people really TRULY loved each other, distance would not matter. Should I count on him? I posted this a couple weeks ago and got only one response. I need other opinions please.