I'm 29 and he's 35. Been dating 2.5 yrs. Talked kids and marriage. We've had a fee big arguments. He's a very quiet person. Bottles his feelings inside until they explode...i wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm upfront with my feelings. anyways things were great or so I thought. We had a routine down since we live an hour a part. He doesn't have too many friends, and isn't very social. Doesn't like parties, bars or clubs. He enjoys sitting at home reading sports watching Netflix and hitting the gym. Im pretty outgoing. I enjoy working out and visitiv friends and family. I'm not into bars or clubs but I wouldn't mind gong occasionally with friends. This is my 3rd serious relationship. This is his 1st.
We got into another argument and it didn't feel right. He was distant all day theb told me he wasn't coming over and I shouldnt come up. After 5 days I finally hit him up and ask him what's going on. He tells.me its not going to work out for him. I'm too controlling and he believes that's who I am...its my personality and I won't be able.to change it. Ok I'm distraught upset wanting to work things out cuz I love him and I figure that this is it we need to work through our problems. When u asked him if he thought it was worth the effort to work it out he said no...that he would have one foot in and one foot out of the relationship.....that he would just be wating for me to show control issues again and that would be it for him. Devistated...so I'm trying to come to terms....getting everything I wanted to way out....after talking for 1.5-2 hrs he brings up the notion of a "break".
We've never dealt with a break before. He said he knows he loves me.and there's a possibility if we can get through our own problems. I shared with him what I thought about his lack of.communication which I think is equally responsible for this situation. Anyways now its just a waiting game. My instinct is to reach out because its what I know and what I was use to, but I know this is his decision and I can't force him to "see the light" lol. I want to be strong about this and it seems like I can't tell my story enough. No amount of talking is comforting it appears! Gosh. We have spoke once since the talk of the break. It was initiated by him and he was just seeing how my weekend was and how his was. He shared with me that it felt weird not having me around and at times he was lonely. I know that this would be normal for anyone...and I also know that the true test is in 3-4 weeks when I'm still not around. Were starting week 3 of no seeing and day 2 of NC. I think I need to to full NC, but there's so many things I feel haven't been addressed.GA...gah!! Excuses I know :/
Why is love such a pain in the butt sometimes!! I'm not sorry for the vent....and I really appreciate those who read the whole thing.
Any thoughts?