What the heck did I get myself into...

[CertainlyStupid]

First of all, I know this may sound obvious but if I could put into words the feelings... you get the point.

I am married 10 years now, High school sweetie, bumpy roads, nothing too crazy, no cheating -that I know of- either way. She broke up with me for 2 years in High school but, hey, that was a lifetime ago. Only woman I have slept with, she has had (she claims) me and the other dude from High School, so 2 partners for her 1 for me, 3 kids and 15 years later all is very well. I have a good job, she has a good job, I love her very dearly. Now the twist...

So there is another couple that we are friends with that also have 3 kids our kids age (all under 10 years old). Don't know too much about their past but for this moment in time, their situation is sort of similar to ours. Our oldest kids are like best friends we all go to baseball games, kids on same team, shit like that...

Long story shortened -a bit- . A couple of beers me and another family friend we decided we would text her as a prank from a number she didn't have cause her husband was camping with kids for scouts or some shit. All was fun n games until later shit got real, me and her have been thinking about each other more than we should be! We have not done anything physical, but we have been having chats on the side trying to figure out what this means. From everything she has said to me she feels the same strange thing. I CAN'T STOP thinking about her, I feel my stomach turning knots just thinking about her like I am in Jr. High again, I am a complete A-HOLE I know, but why can't this feeling just go away? Once we discovered the affection we feel for each other it has been a compounding problem. I love my wife, this would completely F-everything up, our kids friendship our family outings we have so much fun. But the more we talk the deeper we sink into this crush. What do you call this, We really like each other, this shit can't happen though and we know it. I have not told anyone, I hope neither has she, but the anonymous internet gets to hear me I guess, I feel like a jerk but I am puzzled. It is emotions and feelings, they are so strong, it's not a switch, you can't just turn it off! It would be easier if she just told me I was being drunk and stupid and that would have been the end of it. It has been about 2 weeks now and it's not getting better.. Any advice besides the obvious?

[DannyH]

I would call that a nightmare or a really bad lifetime movie. Only things you can really do is focus on the negatives and the fallout of what would happen if you would get together and how that bad that would be. Distract yourself and avoid her. Your not an ahole for feeling that way because it happens. Physical proximity makes people become familiar with each other and increases the chance of attraction It's human nature.
Just think what would happen if the whole thing would come to pass. You would lose your wife, your kids, your house, your friends, a lot of people wouldn't trust you anymore. The whole divorce thing is messy everybody w ould have to get lawyers then the messload of kids. Good luck with that. Focus on that stuff the negatives.

[surfhb]

Its called being human.

However, it takes a mature adult to figure out this would not be good for you....make sense?

[Wakeup]

But the more we talk the deeper we sink into this crush.

What does logic tell you you should do to stop this runaway train into disaster?

I'll tell you because you seem to be to pussy struck to figure it out: YOU STOP CHATTING with her on the side.

Look: It is human nature to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. Even while in a relationship we will still be attracted to the opposite sex. It is up to us how we handle the attraction to another when we are already committed to someone else. You sir, are not handling it very well.

Stop it. You are going to ruin the lives of many people including your children's. How devastated will you all be?

I've been married for many years and have had attractions to other men besides my husband. I was smart enough to not bite into the apple though and we've had the pleasure of being in a happily connected partnership for over 30 years starting in highschool.

Don't **** up your life over a crush. Tell her you won't be calling her on the side anymore and for her to please refrain as well followed by a "I love my wife and this is jeapardising my marriage."

Grow up.. m'kay.

[CertainlyStupid]

Thank you all. I am not going to be a dumbass, we will get over it and things will be fine. I have been attracted to others, of course, but this one for some reason struck hard. It's cool, I got it.

[Wakeup]

I have been attracted to others, of course, but this one for some reason struck hard.

Only because you acted on the attraction. Stop acting on it.

It's cool, I got it.

Good to hear, I hope you mean it and you start thinking with your head (logically) instead of your balls (lustily).

Good luck Soldier. Hopefully you've just won one battle in the strategic maneuvers required when maintaining a happy healthy and long lasting relationship with the one you chose as a life mate.

Now, make arrangements to take your wife away so you and her can get lusty together without her having to be just mom and you having to be just dad. Rekindle your passion and emotional connection so that this "partner in crime" you have been dabling with becomes less of a mind staple for you.