Love & finances...need advice

[coconutz]

i think people break up earlier cause f money issues then cause of cheating.

and when did you both think about marry?
now??

i think both of you want to do a lot of stuff in a record of time while both of you had
8 years doing what??
what about taking on step at the time instead f being busy with 10000 of unfinished stuff.

and often when the woman earn more money it can bring a lot of problem.
and its like the woman feel the need to adress that she earn more a lot of time.
while if its the men he just make it happen often without having to say much about it.

maybe you should think if you are okay with earning more or you need a men that earn more or the same.
and how important is money for you.
cause i feel like you are kind of more concern about money.
dont get me wrong its good and wise to plan your finance but i get another vibe also from you.

maybe you both to sit and have serious talk. and start making a plan on paper, how much of both money gos to the wedding
how much to the ring and how much for own pleasure and so on. and everyone have to put that amount on their own saving account every month.
you have to have serious talk as much as possible before marry. cause ones you are married you are already in it.
like will you take his dept on your shoulder or he will pay it alone?

and how serious a men is about marrying you depends also if it was you that asked him to marry you or
was it his own initiative.

but i think from what i see he just wanted to buy himself something nice.
just tell him how you feel and dont like itt and move on
dont make from a little thing a big issue.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

The quicker you learn every relationship is just a business transaction, the better off you will be. by 'business transaction' I'm not just talking about monetary transactions.
As I see there are the following variables.

A. Money
B. Looks
C. Professional/ community status.

From what I can see, he must be pretty dam good looking.

[kat82]

Well, an update to my original post. He returned the thingymajig & we haven't discussed it since. I know we probably should have discussed it more, but...we have been so pre-occupied with this home purchase. I am happy to say, however, that he has clients lining up for his web design business...and he even showed me that has saved money! This is a first, so I feel happy, and proud of him. It makes me feel like we can in fact buy this house and live comfortably, while he uses this savings to put toward his school loan payments.

The home purchase is going quickly (for a short sale) but, unfortunately, the bank countered with a higher amount. We are now playing the waiting game to see if they will accept our counter offer. If they don't, I guess we back out & keep looking. Fingers crossed!

[bearz]

That's good to hear, but I would still be careful and see how he does financially over a longer period of time. He might have the right intention right now, but that might change in a few months. Keep an eye on it. And please make sure you're not purchasing a house you can't actually afford. Don't get screwed by your bank or your real estate agent.

[kat82]

Trust me, we are being careful & are purchasing what we can afford. It's all in my name, so it's what the mortgage co is saying I can afford on my own, and he will be paying half of the monthly payment. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find an affordable home in NJ that isn't a complete P.O.S.

[michelle23]

Im glad things are working out. i hope it all goes well for you both. If he starts slipping up again-try to nip it in the bud quickly. As long as your bills are paid on time and his loan-then he can obviously do what he likes with the rest of his money-just try to help him stay on track.

Good luck to you both and enjoy the wedding