Trust Issues on both sides. Finances and Infidelity

[mystikhybrid2]

Hi,

Me and my girlfriend of 5 months have been having a rough time recently, mostly due to my actions, but not helped by hers.

Over a month ago, we got into a heated argument over the phone, I cursed at her, and she said she's done and hung up, wouldnt answer texts or calls all that day and the next.

I really messed up here, and went out with another person, and had relations with them.

After some time, and promising that it wouldnt ever happen again, she decided she wanted to be with me still, with an exception. She wanted access to every account I had: emails, bank account, facebook, etc. All I was fine with but the bank account, but I did it all anyway.

That day she took out $150 from my account while I was at work. She said it was due to what I said during the first month we were together "I bet you 5,000 Ill never cheat on you."

I suppose I deserved that one, and I didnt complain too much. But this week I get a discover card in the mail, registered to me but with 2 cards, one for me and one for her. I wasn't consulted prior to this, this made me very nervous. Is she out for revenge?
Maybe I deserve it?

I changed my bank password today and now she wants to break up. I told her Ill log her in so she can look anytime but she said that is not good enough.

[98db]

I had an Ex that was always short on money, but I didn't trust her with my bank account because she also had a gambling problem. Hm, she probably was short on money because she had a gambling problem. If it were me, I would walk away, because one thing just as important as being able to trust someone with your heart, is being able to trust someone with your money.

You should be careful, because if she runs up that card to 'teach you a lesson' you will not be happy.

[DarkHelmet82]

Change the bank account dude... last thing you need is her charging up Credit cards with your name and you get put into deep deep debt. If she has a problem with that then she is off to no good.

[VincenzoG91]

Five months is way too soon to be sharing finances, especially in a troubled relationship. Taking out a credit card in your names without talking to you first is a huge red flag. Close that account, close your bank account and run for the hills.

[IncognitoSir]

Five months is way too soon to be sharing finances, especially in a troubled relationship. Taking out a credit card in your names without talking to you first is a huge red flag. Close that account, close your bank account and run for the hills.

This man speaks the truth, she's CLEARLY out for revenge and is coming after your money, no offense but you'd be a fool to stick around with her, she NEVER forgave you!

[MrE]

I'll post what I did in your other thread -

Sounds like a pretty intense situation for a couple that has only been going out for 5 months. Having trust issues at this stage is certainly a bad sign. She said she was done, but you should have at least made confirmation of that, made sure there was no resolve before boinking someone else - so there is some bad on your end. Plus even if it were an 'official' break-up, it always burns real bad to know your prior is out boinking someone else immediately after the break-up. Of course, her demanding all your passwords and such is BS, I would not stand for that at all. Taking money and secretly obtaining bank cards for herself is the tainted cherry on top of all this. Sounds like a bad relationship to me, and coming back in this way is certainly a bad start. Personally, I'd find somebody else. Oh, and yes... change your bank account ASAP! Like - NOW!

[girl68]

You should not have given her access to all your accounts. Bank account has nothing to do with infidelity. Now let her dump you and wish her good riddence.

Next time when you fight you fight, you don't go out and get your jollies off.

[HopeYouGetThis]

She definitely sounds like trouble. I agree with Girl68 saying bank accounts have nothing to do with infidelity. It sounds like she's trying to take advantage of you. If you do get rid of her, you're not in the clear. By her applying for a credit card without your knowledge, you know for certain she has a hold of your social security number. I would contact one of the big 3 credit bureaus, equifax, transunion, or experian and have them flag your social security number. That way, if someone opens credit in your name there either needs to be a password or they will call you.

[VincenzoG91]

Hope, that's an excellent point, and I should have thought to mention that. Ten years ago, a girlfriend opened up a charge card in my name and ran up nearly $1,000 in charges before I received the first bill. She didn't even need my social security number, she happened to find a drivers license of an asian woman with the same last name as me, which happens to be a very common last name. She was asian, so even though she didn't look like the woman in the drivers license picture, she was able to commit fraud as my "wife." I found out about the drivers license a few weeks after the credit card incident. She accidentally left her purse at a gas station, and the attendant found my business card and called to claim a reward for my "wife's" purse. Ever since then, I have had a password on my credit rating with the credit bureaus.

[Sonrisa]

the same day i broke up with my ex he cleared my bank account completely.

[peanutkrys]

. The true story is this, that he failed to mention

After calling me a c*nt (since he's an alcoholic and I was asking him to not drink that day) I freaked out and told him him I never called him names. Later I wouldn't answer him bc he accused me of messing with his roo. (Which hisroom mate did). So two days prior to our fight, he posted an add on craigslist and replied to some as well. I went in his email and he cheated on me with a randm married man from craigslist. He thought he had gotten away with it by hiding some pictures of him that I'm not even gonna mention. I'll spare the details but he used his debit to pay for a room

So I told him if he wants to be with me he no longerhas privacy and I want all his passwords. Also told him I needed money so he was drunk at 4 in the afternoon and he gave me his card. I pulled 150 out and he bitched abt it the next day. I wanted his acct info to see what he was spending it on. Would you trust this man?

About the credit card. He got an application in the mail and he told me to fill it out. So I went online and put me as authorized user in case we needed to get anything for the house, because we moved in together. I told him to call the company and review application

So ladies and gentlemen before you bash the evil girlfriend (me) please consider my add in details

[peanutkrys]

So let me add that his scandalous cheating was pre meditated

[IncognitoSir]

Riiiight, here comes the lies...

[peanutkrys]

You're a stranger. I don't care what you or anyone else says because I don't know you. I have emails and pics as proof!

[hello1]

You two are messed up. Look its only been five months. It is not worth it, give in and move on