Having a hard time reading a girl

[Yardbird]

I just got out of a 3 year relationship a couple months ago, so needless to say I've been out of the game a little while and am having a little bit of a difficult time adjusting to having to read women again (I was never that great at it to begin with).

Anyways... Here's the scenario. Last week I met this super super cute girl who is mutual friends with a lot of my friends. We were all eating dinner and I ended up sitting next to her. Apparently her boyfriend dumped her two days earlier. She was a little stressed over it, but didn't seem totally heartbroken or anything. Anyways, throughout the dinner I find out that we have a LOT in common and I'm crushing on her harder than I've crushed on a girl since middle school. At several points in the dinner she seemed to try and revert back to conversation with me. Ie. Someone across the table asks her something, she responds to him for a minute then turns to me and goes "so yeah, back to what we were talking about." Sometimes it even seemed like our conversation was dead and she was trying to prolong it. I end up getting her number (for other reasons I shouldn't discuss here) but she seemed pretty excited to give it to me. She decides she wants to start coming to yoga with us. So I text her asking her if she's still coming and if she knows where to go. Well, her texts come back surprisingly dry. Not rude or anything, just really dry and unenthusiastic. But, she did come out and seemed happy to talk. Two days later she drops her plans with her friends for that weekend, texts me asking if I'm going to yoga again. Once again, fairly dry texting. But we get there a few minutes early. She's talking about how she transferred colleges. My friend says "did you go to any of their football games". She goes "no not really. that's not really my thing." Then turned around 180 and finished answering his question to me with her back towards him. Mind you I had nothing to do with the sports convo... But for some reason she decided it would be best to tell it to me than my bud who asked.

So I don't know. Between the dry texts, her recent breakup, and then the positive personal interactions I'm having a really hard time reading her. I mean, it seems like she enjoys me, I guess I just get stressed not knowing. I've got social anxiety to start with, she's a couple years older than me, and I never really view myself as someone who would end up with such a pretty girl.

But I don't know. What does it sound like? What should I do? I'm going to be pretty busy this week with school, so I'm thinking maybe when I see her at yoga, have a quick convo, end it on a high note by saying I have to get some work done, then suggesting we should hang out outside of yoga sometime... Does that sound right?

I know these are probably stupid obvious questions. But like I said, social anxiety. It sucks. I just need to confirm my ideas a billion times with other people before I get the strength to make a move. Like I said, I've been out of the game a while. I really like her though and don't want my dumb self to screw it up.

[Tammy]

Hi,

You said her ex-boyfriend dumped her recently, well, did they really have a real relationship going?
The fact that she doesn't seem that brokenhearted doesn't say much yet; heartache may kick in later..
1. Check how she really feels.
1a. If she's not OK, you don't want her to be using you as 'rebound', second:
b. you may wanna give her the breathing space.

But if she's really OK with everything, I wouldn't play games, I wouldn't be too straightforward either.
You may want to get to know her, give her a few signs, and just figure out what she'd want from you.
(If she's into you, maybe she wants you to make the first move, or she wants to keep control)
Is she flirting when you meet up? Is she trying to impress you, making you like her, smiling, dressing up nicely?

It would be smart to start out as friends and build a trusting relationship. See what happens.
You shouldn't worry about age or that she may be out of your league; nonsense, just go with it, have fun.
Maybe you can arrange to do sth that you both like and just enjoy the occasion.
I think that if she really likes you, (the way you describe her) she wouldn't be too shy to take some initiatives to hang out together.

Good luck ; )

(don't waste precious moments by worrying - live in the moment)

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Maybe she's just not a big texter. You need to be going after other girls as well, so you're not so invested in this one. You're both rebounding, so you need to take a more casual approach in the beginning since odds are high that it won't work out. See where it goes but keep your expectations low.

[Yardbird]

deleted... for reasons

[goodluckchuck]

One word! -Rebound!!!

[Yardbird]

Deleted for reasons

[Tammy]

If she's not flirting with you/letting you know she's into you, then maybe she's just looking for a good friend right now.
Two shy people should be able to find sth to do together, right? Doesn't have to be for a whole day/night.
Just take your time with her, in general, build a trusting relationship and take it from there ' cause it's good to start out as friends, you know, then you have a foundation, something real, and when you get to know each other, it might just all come together ; )

[michelle23]

Its not necessarily a rebound. If nether of you are heartbroken it may work out. Some people are so pessimistic when it comes to love. You should put time and effort into her (and only her) if you really like her. You dont want to screw it up by making her think your not trustworthy. And casually seeing others and not committing or not showing your willing to commit will just push her away.

Forget the fact her texts are "dry" its impossible to read someones tone from a text. Ask her out for coffee or icecream. Whatever. Just get to know each other and go from there.

Good luck

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's a rebound, whether they fall apart tomorrow, or get married and live happily ever after, this is still a rebound. He "just got out" of a 3 year relationship and is now "crushing harder than he's crushed on a girl since middle school", with a girl two days out of a breakup...that's rebounding. That's not pessimistic, it's just reality, which I realize can be tough for you to grasp at times.

Yardbird, you should not jump all in just yet, and that's what seeing other girls will help you to do right now. Right now I can tell your expectations are really high, but whether this girl is heartbroken or not, it's not likely she wants another serious relationship right away. She is still likely to go through a gamut of emotions, and you'd be wise to get your hopes up so high right away.

[Yardbird]

deleted for reasons