What in the world am I supposed to do?

[acupoftea]

Highschool. Love is crazy at this time, and most girls are all about the dating experience, I'm the duck of this picture, the out of place duck in a crowd of swans. I never meant to fall for him,,,it happened this year, junior year, after knowing him for two years, I'm finally more open to talk and I'm not s shy or scared of new people. I've never dated anyone, never kissed... but this guy is the complete opposite, He's kissed girls, he's slept with them. He makes raunchy jokes and messes with me because out of a lot of his friends, I am just...a nun practically.
This year, so much has happened.
He had a terrible break up, and I did my best to listen and make him smile. It didn't always work, but I was glad to try.
He soon regained his happiness a month or so later..
I recall this one time, much after this event, I had given him a gift of tea and berries, because he loved tea~.
The one time I do, he kisses me on the cheek. I was so happy, I kissed him back on the cheek later that day..I have never blushed harder.
On Pie day (3/14) I had made this peach creme pie for a class and gave the rest to him and my friends in art class~ He LOVED it. It made me happy to see that he did, but out of his happiness he kissed me on the cheek and asked me to marry him. I was so flustered that he had to explain to me at the end of the day that he wasn't serious. At the time, I wasn't listening, I just kissed him on the cheek and walked off. It was not until spring break came that I realized I had to calm my heart down. I could not help dreaming and thinking about him...it was horrible it was wonderful...on the last days of the two week break I decided to call his friend who had asked me to make him a pie for ingredients...It happend so that person who answered was him, but I was unaware! As soon as I said it was me, he said he loved me, he loved me and asked if I would marry him..(what is with these people and marriage?!, I was thinking) I said yes and he said, well what do I tell ---(my crush) And I replied oh he doesnt care.
"He does care. He cares a lot. This is ---(the crush) by the way"
I DIED. BOOM. My face flamed up and I just asked him hastly to give the phone to his friend. After that I could not sleep...oh no I could not! He sounded so different when he said he loved me, when he said he cared. When I went to school I could not bear to even look at his face! Yet he could act so smoothly....a hint he did not feel what I had felt...
Then there was that one hug, that ONE HUG I cannot possibly forget. He held my against his chest and I heard him gulp. I don;t know why I can't forget that...
it got worse it got better
not too long ago, after going to art club afterschool, we rode a bus together. I always look forward to these days~ This day, he was high. So I tried my best to ignore him; such people are unnaturally loving, it would hurt. But I could not! I failed!
I sand a song with him. I played with him..I felt his hand!
His hand was on my lap and oh my oh my just the memory is just so...warm...I was afraid that this was all just the result of his smoking....I kept telling myself it didnt matter what happened because of it when I got home but my heart would not listen.
For the first time though, when we went to school, art class was awkward and strange...
I saw a blush n his face and there was blush on mine..but no words were said. It was difficult to talk....ever since then, I can't be any where near him with out feeling this fever....and the fisrt thing I notice about him is his warm, heated face.....I wish he'd talk to me again like he used to! Now it feels strange..even being in the same room with him! I wonder if he feels the same way....hes always as red-faced as i am when im near...or maybe its all in my head..thats what I try to tell myself..what do I do, what does this all mean? am I the only one who feels this way in our situation? Please help me, I am un-experienced in these matterssssss

[Love'sReject]

*Pi Day; that's how it is spelled in this context.

[basilandthyme]

acupoftea, he pretended to be someone else joking around...and you went along with the joke (good girl! it's great to be able to play along in a joke). He then holds this joke against you. It sounds to me like you dodged a bullet.

There will be plenty of other men - your time will come.

[acupoftea]

I don't understand your metaphor, please explain?