Really would appreciate advice.

[doomedromantic]

You are probably going to read this and think 'what an idiot' but please read on anyway lol. Basically I have had a friend for about 4 years now we were seeing each other a few years back, it didn't work out really so long story short we stayed great friends. We quite literally know everything there is to know about each other. There is no secrets at all. We talk about every last detail of our lives together.
On the other hand of our friendship we have always had sexual tension between us and have throughout the years when were both single still had a sexual relationship. Anyway to the point, I recently set him up with one of my friends. She isn't his usual type but that isn't abad thing so I thought she would be good for him. Now they have gone out on a couple of dates and all of a sudden really upset by it. I have regretted setting them up, I feel fuming when I know they are together and am dreading the day I hear they have slept together. I have even been crying about it. My whole belly had been churning at the thought of it and I am SO CONFUSED.
What does this mean? Do I actually like him and never realised it before? I cant work out why the hell this is hurting so much unless I actually was in love with him or something and didn't even realise it. Please is any body has been through this before or has any advice then pass it on because I don't know what to do.
I know I am going to start getting angry with him and he wont understand why and its just going to start getting really complicated

[Ann S]

You are not confused. Now that someone else likes him, you want him. I think the only thing to do is tell him what you said above. If you, "talk about everything," then talk about this. You don't say why your relationship, "didn't work out," and that might be important information. I hear that you are a friend with benefits and now you don't want another woman intruding.....even though YOU set them up. YOU have to take the lead in this because now your pal is off with your friend. And however it works out, accept it! Ann

[michelle23]

this is one of the reasons why i dont believe in men and women being best friends. stop wasting your time with all this bullshit and cut all contact with him.

all this time youve wasted being his emotional tampon and occasional **** buddy when you could have been out finding a real BF.

i think you have been in denial and deep down youve always wanted more than friends. you dhould not stay friends with an ex and you shouldnt continue sleeping with him.

get him out of your life, get over him and meet a real partner that you can have a real relationship with. as long as you stay in each others lives-your holding yourself back from finding love.

i bet if you cut all contact with him years ago-you would prob be in s loving, happy, healthy relationship by now

[basilandthyme]

As things didn't work out between the two of you, eventually he was going to have to find someone else. Whether this someone else is a friend or a stranger to you, you'll still have to go through the process of allowing yourself to move on.

I guess you'll just have to work out the best way to do this. I suggest you downgrade your relationship significantly from "great friends"

[doomedromantic]

this is one of the reasons why i dont believe in men and women being best friends. stop wasting your time with all this bullshit and cut all contact with him.

all this time youve wasted being his emotional tampon and occasional **** buddy when you could have been out finding a real BF.

i think you have been in denial and deep down youve always wanted more than friends. you dhould not stay friends with an ex and you shouldnt continue sleeping with him.

get him out of your life, get over him and meet a real partner that you can have a real relationship with. as long as you stay in each others lives-your holding yourself back from finding love.

i bet if you cut all contact with him years ago-you would prob be in s loving, happy, healthy relationship by now

Thanks to all of you for your advice you do talk sense. I think your right about the denial and I maybe have felt like this for a long time, I just don't know what to do. I am not going to tell himand stop them seeing eachother but I will end up driving myself insane. I would loveto be in a loving relationship and this wouldn't be a problem!

[basilandthyme]

Is it denial - or is it reality? If the two of you couldn't work out a relationship, is there any sense in hanging onto emotions for him?

Could it be that it's a fight between head and heart? The head tells you not to bother but the heart is hanging on to the idea of "what if?"

[doomedromantic]

Is it denial - or is it reality? If the two of you couldn't work out a relationship, is there any sense in hanging onto emotions for him?

Could it be that it's a fight between head and heart? The head tells you not to bother but the heart is hanging on to the idea of "what if?"

Well the thing is its not like iv just been hanging around waiting for him to want me. We have both had other partners and he would have no idea I was confused right now. I have decided it must just be because she is my friend im finding it strange and confusing that with feelings. I have spoken to him in shorter terms about it now and he offered to end it if its upsetting me. Which ofcourse I would never allow. Im not that selfish lol I am just going to have to get a grip I guess