Hi all,
My last of 4 years relationship ended in bad way and ever since that,I don't take love things seriously.
I decided to move to another country and even planned to adopt kids.My family and friends tried to
convince me that marriage is important and so they set up blind dates and introduced me few good men.
But I'm not even fall for any one of them.I went out to to dinners and movies with each one of them just
to show respect to my family & friends.Of course,no sexual activity occur.
Just when I was close to move out,I met one man from the internet.I know him 2 years ago but never
bother to talk to him and last year,we became friends.He is 19 years older than me.
I know that he has been single for 20 years and he knows my idea of adopting kids.I even tell him that if
I want to get pregnant,I may fly to his place and ask him to donate his sperm since we're good friends.
Also,I know that the reason he stays unmarried because of feminism and divorcement issues and I stay unmarried
because of I'm afraid of being hurt and left again.
But then,after 6 months...I realize I actually love him and he told me that he has strong feelings upon me too.
Ever since that,we act like a real couple (but through internet) He sent me stuffs,I sent him stuffs.Everywhere
I go,I buy him things,I buy things for his parents and he even introduced me to his parents via cam.Now that I
know his mother has introduced me to his other family.And once,I asked him whether I'm his gf or what because
he was accidentally telling me that the cousins will feel jealous because he has a beautiful gf and I shouldn't feel
worry of his family since they all like me.He told me this "We are friends and a little bit more than that".
One time,I asked him again and he said "I'm a little bit slow and I agree that we should get to know each other better"
I told my parents about his existence and they gave me 2 years to prove this as they afraid that I may not be
serious.
Now what makes me afraid is...is this sounds like he's playing around?Or he's afraid to move further because of
feminism issue?Or he is being serious with me.Sometimes,I feel weird with myself.We go through our days just like
normal couples but we're not a couple.I even go to sleep sniffing his shirt and he told me how he imagine of our kids look
like someday.
I'm afraid that if I fly there to his country,meeting him.Things will not be what I wanted it to be.So all of this thing
is kinda wasting.I have a life,I'm a working woman and I do want to earn my doctorate before I turn 33.
So what do you think?