What the ****?

[Wakeup]

Tried and failed.

My concern is two-fold:

1) I liked her so it is personal.

2) I don't like seeing crap rule the day. I like a nice world in general where people at least try to respect each other. When someone has the upper hand be it in a relationship or a position of authority and they use it to abuse others, I don't like it. I just wanted to understand.

Just as I thought.

You have to realize that she's volunteering for what she's being given. SHE IS issued and you can't fix her. You blame him when it's her that accepts what he is and what he dishes out to her. Forget him and more importantly forget her because she's damaged goods. You or no martyr can't fix her.

even after hurting this girl (I know she was REALLY hurt), she eventually returned to him

She needs professional help... not a white knight to rescue her momentarily only to go back to him or someone just like him.

[bob the brave]

Just as I thought.

You have to realize that she's volunteering for what she's being given. SHE IS issued and you can't fix her. You blame him when it's her that accepts what he is and what he dishes out to her. Forget him and more importantly forget her because she's damaged goods. You or no martyr can't fix her.

Never thought of it like that. She does have a history of this - called off an engagment because the guy wanted to dump his credit card debt on her, 3 year old child from a pervious relationship and a DWI. And I have noticed the lack of self-esteem. The thing that bothers me, and I just don't understand is why she turned me down over him. I am a good guy. She said so herself. I am college educated with a good job, caring, sincere in my interest and let's not forget single. I am not wimp or a db. He is....well you know. I can see choosing one guy over another, but why choose crap?

[Wakeup]

Never thought of it like that. She does have a history of this - called off an engagment because the guy wanted to dump his credit card debt on her, 3 year old child from a pervious relationship and a DWI. And I have noticed the lack of self-esteem. The thing that bothers me, and I just don't understand is why she turned me down over him. I am a good guy. She said so herself. I am college educated with a good job, caring, sincere in my interest and let's not forget single. I am not wimp or a db. He is....well you know. I can see choosing one guy over another, but why choose crap?

Because probably that's all she knows. As I suggested before, she probably had a father just like him and/or a mother just like herself and they formed in her mind that such dysfunction is actually normal and what a relationship looks like or, she thinks that she doesn't deserve someone good like yourself because she's not good enough. This is deep seated stuff that will take lots of personal therapy for her to overcome to the point where she knows/believes/trusts that she is good enough and then and only then will she ever find someone like you attractive. Sadly, I suspect that She's been honed to find losers attractive.

[Starnique]

I'll bet he 'cares' because he likes the girl, he's a self-proclaimed nice guy who tried to rescue her and she didn't let him.

Right. Hahahaha

[YoungCosmo]

Yeah, feelings are more important than animal safety..Man, I think I'll go set a cat on fire today and make out with my girlfriend. Then I'll go Michael Vick on a few dogs...I think the broad gets off to tha.

[bob the brave]

Because probably that's all she knows. As I suggested before, she probably had a father just like him and/or a mother just like herself and they formed in her mind what a normal relationship looks like or she thinks that she doesn't deserve someone good like yourself because she's not good enough. This is deep seated stuff that will take lots of personal therapy for her to overcome to the point where she knows/believes/trusts that she is good enough and then and only then will she ever find someone like you attractive. Sadly, I suspect that She's been honed to find losers attractive.

That so sucks, but it does explain a lot. It is sad she has so much potential.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Here's what you should take from this situation. A mid-thirties dbag(says you) with a paper route and no respect is higher on the totem pole of people girls want to bang than a nice guy(that would be you).

[Wakeup]

Just certain types of girls want the db paper-boy. The type that not only Op, but anyone who isn't damaged themselves, are better off without.

[YoungCosmo]

Here's what you should take from this situation. A mid-thirties dbag(says you) with a paper route and no respect is higher on the totem pole of people girls want to bang than a nice guy(that would be you).

You know, you talk a big ****ing game. Where are you exactly on this pole, champ?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I didn't say they want the db paperboy. I said he is higher on the totem pole than the nice guy.

Where am I on the totem pole...somewhere between the middle and the top, under the label good looking, enterprising professional.

Sorry dude, quit being such a bitch and maybe you can get a whiff of her pussy if the wind blows her skirt up.

[Wakeup]

For those women who only know mistreatment, yes. For anyone not dysfunctional from childhood neglect or abuse, the db is quickly delegated to the base.

N.B. The "self-proclaimed nice guy" is not the same as a nice guy, period.

[searock]

bob, you need to move on. This is the third thread (or fourth?) you open about her... stop obsessing. Move on.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

For those women who only know mistreatment, yes. For anyone not dysfunctional from childhood neglect or abuse, the db is quickly delegated to the base.

Sorry, Wakup. I'm talking about "nice guys", not guys who are nice.

[YoungCosmo]

Where am I on the totem pole...somewhere between the middle and the top, under the label good looking, enterprising professional.

.

That sounds like a load of shit, you over-'roided aggressive liar. But I digress..

[Wakeup]

Sorry, Wakup. I'm talking about "nice guys", not guys who are nice.

Yes... I added to my post.. when we were posting the same thing.