what he is thinking

[jessica6]

I am 42 years old and I really wanted to get married. I dated this guy for a few months and I ask him to marry me. During our dating, he told me that his ex girlfriend is living in califonia and he rented the place from her. One day I find out text messages that says honey, have a good time and she calls him babe. I have just been in this country for a few years so I thought this is the way people talk to their ex. I was love blinded I guess. while we were dating, she come to town to visit and she and he live in the same place and he told me that he did not sleep with her.

I live in my parents place which is paid for and rent free and they live out of the country. I asked him to move in, get married and be happy after. He did move in and married me.(no reception, even no picture) He is broke but I did not care. Now we have been married for one year. Soon after we marry, he got a full time good paying job.I felt like he change his attitude since then. Whenever we got an arguement, he said he want to leave and I put him in this situation(marriage) which he does not want.
One day his co worker told me about a conversation between him and an female young co worker, it just suprise me. he ask her if she live alone,how he is forced into the marriage, he said he would left me if he is 15 years younger.(he is same age as me) he said things will come around and she ask him to make a move instead of waiting.(dump me) he told her that we are more like business partner, we have a arrangement, the place we live is paid for. I think he is trying to tell her that he stay with me because there is no rent.
my question is: obviously, he is hitting on her. Does he say all this because he want to sleep with her or he really waiting for the next relationship and just want to live with me for free? I am very upset. help.
I still got hope that he want this relationship because he got a good job and he has not left me yet.

[michelle23]

hes telling her what she wants to hear coz he wants sex.

hes a cheat. you should kick him out. hes not worth it

[pcmaster]

Theres is nothing you can do. If he dont give shit he dont. Thats the way it is. You helped him when he needed it the most but he dont apreciate it. That means he dont apreciate himself.
You helped him and now he could help you. But since its not good relationship its not happening. You shouldnt let him live for free. Cause he dont apreciate it and if things are expected rather than apreciated that means you have to stop doing it.

Why do you need him? Just because of job? If you dont need him for more than that then its not gona work. Thats why you are miserable cause you need eachother to be whole. He might not want you but without you he have nowhere to live. Without him you have no one to love. Its called Codependency. You might read about it on google. Once he get somwhere else to live the real emotions would come out. Also you wouldnt care about him so much if you had better options.

[jessica6]

me again. now he is making enough money for rent and have a good life. why he is not leaving. probably he is waiting to sign the full time job paperwork.

[pcmaster]

Just ask him. Thats the best you can do, be direct. What you have to lose anyway, if hes gona leave then at least you gona know the truth.

[Boisdevie]

I still got hope that he want this relationship because he got a good job and he has not left me yet.

He's not left you YET. Why were you so desperate to get married to what seems like the first class 1 dickhead that turns up? That's the issue that you need to deal with. As soon as you've told your shiny new husband to sod off.

[jessica6]

me again. Women he knew and he does not know like him. he is attractive. He did not have a stable job when I married him. Switching job from one to another without benefit. But I did not care. he told me that when people get older, they change priorities what they want from a relationship and he want security. I did not quite understand what he mean and hoping he did not mean to live with me for free instead of wanting me. Now he has been working for this good paying job for a while and they may keep him foever and he will sign the full time job papers as soon as the hiring freeze is over. He will have good pay and benefit.
Now I find out he is still talking to his ex(not only 1) and try dating them at work. I can not believe what he is trying to do behind me but I did not say anything. And he is telling me he is one of the great husband in the world. why he does not leave and date as many women as he want? waiting for full time papers?
i thought I am smart but I am really dump at relationship.

[annurao]

I think dear he is cheated you


Sorry For hurting