Problems with boyfriends brother, either he moves or I will

[NiaPeach]

My boyfriend and I have lived together for the past year now. Around February his brother asked us if he could stay with us for about two weeks because he had an issue with a roommate who wasn't paying his half of the rent and they eventually got evicted. I was never to fond of the idea because he stayed with my boyfriend before he and I moved in together and I know how his brother is in terms of cleaning and sitting around all day doing nothing. He's lazy with no drive or ambition, sad to say. Sounds mean but its the truth. But I love my boyfriend and he wasn't to fond of it either but we agreed he could stay for a couple of weeks. Well my problem is, now its the month of June and he is still living with us. I am in school and I work part time and my boyfriend just completed his intern and is now being offered an Engineering position where he completed his intern. Great for us. Things are going well. Me and my boyfriend work really hard and whenever one of us gets home, its the same damn thing. His brother is lounging around, running up the electricity bill because all he does is play my boyfriends son Ps3 all day long and has the nerve to have friends over at times. Their cool but its still besides the point.

(My boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship who is eight years old...he had him when he was rather young nonetheless he's a great father) His son comes over all the time and all is well. Its a number of thing that irritates the hell out of me with him. So my boyfriend was working and I had his son and after hanging out for most of the day we got home around 8 pm and he wanted to play his game. Sure, go ahead, I told him. He comes in my room pouting and saying that Uncle M wont let him play his game because he is watching tv in the living room, which is what his game is hooked up to. I told my future step son that I didn't care and he could play because uncle M sat around all day long playing the game and now wants to watch tv himself and it wasn't fair or open for discussion. This of course lead to a big argument because I threatened to remove the TV from the living room and put in my room since its a bigger flat screen and take my tv in my room and put it in my step sons room. Problem would be solved. At this point he backed down but still had an attitude. He told my boyfriend and his mother that I was rude and had a nasty attitude. But I feel as if he sits around on his ass all day, if my step son or my niece who I keep at times comes over, they can go turn the tv whenever they feel like it considering all you do is sit on your sorry ass all day. I will buy all kinds of juices and snacks and I will get home late thinking if I need to stop by the store but I will say no, we have plenty and I get home and the majority is gone. I don't mind sharing food at all and I am very giving but don't eat up the snack or little meals I buy for the kids my niece and his son when they come over) What the hell? Another issue is he have a girlfriend who is pregnant and she is over all the time. She has definitely wore her welcome out. She has no personality whatsoever. People come in, she doesn't speak, and I no she means no harm because I can tell that's how she was raised and she's young.

My boyfriends brother is 21. We only have a two bedroom and although its spacious, its not enough room for him. He leaves his shoes, cups and or plates laying around and he leaves crumbs everywhere. I will cook and he will make a plate and leave food on the side of the dishes like a kid. He does not keep the bathroom clean in the hallway which happens to also be the guess bathroom which is disgusting. His girlfriend was in a car accident and got back 3500.00. I mentioned to him that he should probably put down some money on an apt and pay it up for a couple of months and at least this will give him and his pregnant girlfriend who is only about two months or so, time to look for work or be in school by then. He said she was saving it.They blew through every dime of that money on cell phones, shoes and clothes and eating out. They have no car or anything valuable to show for it. He has a habit of leaving his clothes all over the place and I really feel like I'm about to fall out with him or I already have. I cant even enjoy my company with he and his girlfriend sitting around all day invading my space. Sometimes I just want to go and watch tv in my living room or just sit and enjoy it. He has basically just about weighed one of our sofas in from sitting on it all day and we have moves, I plan to totally do the place over. He a grown man but will walk all through the grass outside, tracking it on my white carpet. Im getting pissed off thinking about it. Their mom had the nerve to say, you all need to straighten up and I almost lost it for real. Its like take your grown ass spoiled son home with you and it will stay straightened up around here. Dont try to act like you don't know your son is messy. But I just ignored her and cut the visit short by going in my room. My sister has commented and said they are taking over my house and Im too nice. She is right. I don't speak up enough when Im offended.

My boyfriend and him gets into it all the time because his brother drinks and smokes weed all the time and has gotten into altercations with neighbors of mine. He has to go and I am giving him until june 30. I know that is no time but he can go stay with his mother or girlfriends family. Why give him 30 days or so when that's not going to make a difference, he still wont have a job or be in school or anything. Seriously. My boyfriend doesn't like it either but I guess he doesn't want to be the bad guy, as he and his brother are fairly close. I, myself am finish with my living room looking his bedroom and its time for him to be a man. He has a kid on the way with another girl also. So he has two babies on the way. His girlfriend will come by, cook and clean up, fine but they need to get their own place. I want my space back. He also doesn't pay a dime of rent. He gets foodstamps and does give us the majority of them and he has some good qualities but its time for him to go. My boyfriend and I had an argument this morn because I told him this and he said whatever and I feel he should be the one to talk to him. Like he is brushing it off. Either he moves or I will at this point. Am I being that unreasonable or is there a nice way to handle all of this? I feel somewhat bad because I don't like conflict but this has taken a toll on me. I am a neat freak and the bad outweighs the good with him. I for a fact I cant take living in this situation much longer. Has anyone gone through this and how did it work out?

Thanks for your help in advance.

[michelle23]

did you not post this months ago? Why havnt you moved out yet?

[NiaPeach]

What? No I did not post this month ago. You're confusing me with someone else. Maybe someone else had this same problem but this is mine now and I wouldn't waste my time asking the same questions. I just don't have that kind of time. I'm not trying to be short with you but I really could use some useful advice for MY situation. Thank you.

[Am I crazy?]

Your post was very difficult to read because of the way it was written so I only read about half before my eyes crossed. Anyway, with what I did read it sounds like you need to set a date and on that date somebody is moving out of the apartment. You can leave it up to your boyfriend to decide who is staying and who is leaving. Just don't let him call your bluff. be prepared to move.

[michelle23]

Okay you need to ask your bf to TELL his brother to leave and if that doesn't work-you TELL him to leave. he has had long enough to look for a job and you tell him you want your home back as you cannot live this way anymore.

If your bf doesnt back you up on this-pack your stuff and walk out.

[NiaPeach]

Your post was very difficult to read because of the way it was written so I only read about half before my eyes crossed. Anyway, with what I did read it sounds like you need to set a date and on that date somebody is moving out of the apartment. You can leave it up to your boyfriend to decide who is staying and who is leaving. Just don't let him call your bluff. be prepared to move.

I was typing quick because I was venting but I did go back and make paragraphs so hopefully that will help. Thanks

[Am I crazy?]

Thanks. I wasn't trying to be a dick. I just have a hard time following long posts that run together. I meant no disrespect. Good luck with your situations.

[Valixy]

Your brother in law is being selfish. He must realise the amount of stress he's putting on your relationship by moving in with you. On the other hand some people really need more time than others to grow up and and make a decent life, but you two as a couple shouldn't have to put up with his problems and on a daily basis. I recommend you to try to keep calm, be firm when you speak with your boyfriend about this next time but be polite. Try not to offend people because they might have to be in your life a long time from now on even if not living with you. It would be good if you could only refer to this situation and how it affects you instead of criticising his brother/mother/girlfriend because it's human nature to become defensive or feel hurt when someone says something bad about your family. He knows how his brother is and just like most of the people he feels that he could say anything about him but wouldn't listen to anyone speaking badly of him without instinctively feeling the need to protect him. It's this situation that annoys you and maybe you should only mention that.

Hopefully your boyfriend will speak with him now and the brother will start looking for a solution together with his mother or his girlfriend or other friends he has, giving you a chance to solve this peacefully and maintaining a positive relationship with your in-laws while you have your space and peace again.

[VincenzoG91]

The brother sounds childish. Well, except for the part about getting two women pregnant, which just sounds criminally irresponsible. He should move back in with his parents until he is ready to behave like a responsible adult.

Stick to your June 30 deadline. If he isn't moved out by July 1, then you should move out because your boyfriend apparently cares more about his brother than you.

[4 ratties]

Wow he's got 2 babies
On the way by two chicks! How trashy! I wonder how he affords pot but not rent or his own apt. Stick to him getting the eff out at the end of this month.