I slept with a guy and now I want to date him...

[JanisS]

They can call me.

haha yeah, funny

[Empty Road]

haha yeah, funny

hee hee... I edited to add something more.

[michelle23]

So let me ask you this: how do you do it? I was with my husband for ages. The only other guy I've ever been with was my other long term boyfriend. So I have never been single in my adult life. and I really like men and have a great urge to snog or being intimate with them, but I know now I cannot detach myself. So, what do women do when they want to have sex and don't want relationship? How do you guys do it?or should I just stay away and wait until my next husband comes along

maybe do it with a guy whos not your type at all-maybe someone who appears gay or something lol... Or when you are emotionally unavailable. I didnt trust the first guy I slept with or feel safe with him so it was easy not to get attached and I just dumped him like 2 weeks later.. the guy before that was too feminine for me which is why I didnt sleep with him but the other stuff we did was fine and I didn't get attached. Maybe pick someone your not sexually attracted to with a personality that makes you cringe. That worked for me

I dont think with my heart. I think with my head. I'm logical and rational and I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I find it easy to cut all ties with someone if they are bad for me. For me love is not enough on its own. There has to be trust, respect, equality and attraction or I would be as cold as ice and walk out the door.. Thats just me.

[JanisS]

maybe do it with a guy whos not your type at all-maybe someone who appears gay or something lol... Or when you are emotionally unavailable. I didnt trust the first guy I slept with or feel safe with him so it was easy not to get attached and I just dumped him like 2 weeks later.. the guy before that was too feminine for me which is why I didnt sleep with him but the other stuff we did was fine and I didn't get attached. Maybe pick someone your not sexually attracted to with a personality that makes you cringe. That worked for me

I dont think with my heart. I think with my head. I'm logical and rational and I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I find it easy to cut all ties with someone if they are bad for me. For me love is not enough on its own. There has to be trust, respect, equality and attraction or I would be as cold as ice and walk out the door.. Thats just me.

I envy you. I wouldn't be able to do it with a guy I'm not attracted to. I think I would feel much worse. Myabe I shouldn't have gone on a date with the American, so I wouldn't have found out that we have so many things in common, and it would have just been sex.
Maybe I shouldn't go on dates yet and stay away from men. Built an emotional fence around me or something. I don't want a relationship but I want to feel free to go out with someone and have a fling without the whole emotional drama afterwards.

[michelle23]

I envy you. I wouldn't be able to do it with a guy I'm not attracted to. I think I would feel much worse. Myabe I shouldn't have gone on a date with the American, so I wouldn't have found out that we have so many things in common, and it would have just been sex.
Maybe I shouldn't go on dates yet and stay away from men. Built an emotional fence around me or something. I don't want a relationship but I want to feel free to go out with someone and have a fling without the whole emotional drama afterwards.

I wouldnt do it now either if I was single. I would just wait for someone that I click with on an emotional and physical level. Maybe have a rebound fling if I was hurting badly but only to help me heal emotionally..

[JanisS]

They can call me.




In all seriousness, I think you'll be much happier with a proper boyfriend.

Still funny though. But seriously, I don't want a boyfriend and don't want a relationship at this stage. I just want to have a fling without attaching myself to someone :/

[michelle23]

Still funny though. But seriously, I don't want a boyfriend and don't want a relationship at this stage. I just want to have a fling without attaching myself to someone :/

The only way to do that is to find a man you are not attracted to emotionally or physically. You sound like the type to get attached very easily so if you want a fling its gonna have to be someone that you would never see yourself in a proper relationship with.

[JanisS]

you know what I would like? I would like to try it out with other men, see how it is, have a hot and steamy adventure and then end it on my terms and don't think about any of it. But I don't think I am capable of doing so without getting emotional etc.

[michelle23]

Are you strong enough to walk away and feel the pain for awhile and not allow yourself to go back IF you do become attached?

[JanisS]

The only way to do that is to find a man you are not attracted to emotionally or physically. You sound like the type to get attached very easily so if you want a fling its gonna have to be someone that you would never see yourself in a proper relationship with.

Yes, I get attached easily. I'm afraid that I will end up in a relationship again as soon as I sleep/snog with someone and this is not something I would like.
I need to think about what you said.
I'm going for a long backpacking trip at the end of this year and I will probably meet a lot of people on the way. Maybe having an affair with someone who would leave in a next few days is sort of an option even if I feel attracted to them.

[michelle23]

Can I ask is there a reason why you want this fling so bad? Is it that you feel like you missed out on experiences? Or just that you are not ready to fall in love again?

[JanisS]

I wouldnt do it now either if I was single. I would just wait for someone that I click with on an emotional and physical level. Maybe have a rebound fling if I was hurting badly but only to help me heal emotionally..

That's the thing - I clicked with the AMerican on an emotional level and that's the worse part. i thought it would be nice to do it with someone I actually liked. it turns out it's not that simple!

[JanisS]

Can I ask is there a reason why you want this fling so bad? Is it that you feel like you missed out on experiences? Or just that you are not ready to fall in love again?

Both really. I feel like I missed something in my life. I want to go through something really great: something romantic with lots of passion and hot sex and then be able to say good bye to the guy. I'm not ready to fall in love - or maybe I am, but don't want it to be long term as I'm starting to enjoy being single.

[JanisS]

Are you strong enough to walk away and feel the pain for awhile and not allow yourself to go back IF you do become attached?

I'm definetly strong enough to go through pain as I've suffered before and can handle it (like I am doing now), but not sure if I could not go back. I'm sure if the American texts me one day I won't be able to say 'no' to him - that's the sad truth.

[michelle23]

what if you found out hes married? would that make you say no?

could you not have a hot passionate steamy relationship and fall in love at the same time?