I slept with a guy and now I want to date him...

[haxan]

Lol, what horrible advice in this thread.

[JanisS]

Yes, of course I could, but relationship and falling in love would mean commitment, spending time together, maybe even quitting my plans which I would not want to give up. I was in a relationship for so long that the thought of going into another one makes me cringe. I just want to have fun without commitment.
Unless, we're talking about a short term relationship - more like a holiday romance.

[JanisS]

oh and if he was married then I'd MIGHT say no..

[JanisS]

Lol, what horrible advice in this thread.

so what's your advice then?

[michelle23]

if you want a fling. Have one. Worry about the consequences later. Stay away from married men though. That is plain WRONG

[JanisS]

haha well, I guess that makes sense. I will suffer a lot but have so much action

[Valixy]

Maybe you should give yourself some time to discover who you are as a person at this point in your life, because your main life scene has changed so much and you seem to be a bit overwhelmed by new emotions (these can be tricky) and new possibilities and only natural that you feel a bit confused too. Obviously the best way to discover who you are is by experiencing but joining this by an internal search and consideration just as you're doing at the moment is the best.

I do not think that you'll be able to have a romantic holiday adventure with someone without longing for more, you just aren't like that and you know it. I also doubt your real personality could change so much all of a sudden, so maybe you shouldn't rush into anything. A light happy relationship at the right time, when you have balanced all these emotions and figured out which are the real ones, would probably be ideal for you.

About this guy... I suppose he knows you are single and he does have some of your details that would allow him to conduct a similar search like you did and find you on facebook or find your telephone number/address? If he felt simliarly, he should make an attempt to find you and contact you sometime soon, but if he doesn't, then maybe you should try to forget about him.

[JanisS]

Maybe you should give yourself some time to discover who you are as a person at this point in your life, because your main life scene has changed so much and you seem to be a bit overwhelmed by new emotions (these can be tricky) and new possibilities and only natural that you feel a bit confused too. Obviously the best way to discover who you are is by experiencing but joining this by an internal search and consideration just as you're doing at the moment is the best.

I do not think that you'll be able to have a romantic holiday adventure with someone without longing for more, you just aren't like that and you know it. I also doubt your real personality could change so much all of a sudden, so maybe you shouldn't rush into anything. A light happy relationship at the right time, when you have balanced all these emotions and figured out which are the real ones, would probably be ideal for you.

About this guy... I suppose he knows you are single and he does have some of your details that would allow him to conduct a similar search like you did and find you on facebook or find your telephone number/address? If he felt nearly as you did, he should make an attempt to find you and contact you sometime soon, but if doesn't, then maybe you should try to forget about him.

Well, I've just came out of the dark side: was depressed and sad and now I'm beginning to enjoy life. And I really like men so thought this was going to be fun. didn't realise that I will get a bit emotional about the whole thing. Maybe if he hadn't been so damn good looking and we hadn't had that connection I would have got over it really quickly.
I am also a romantic and keep fantasizing about him all the time...
He has my telephone number, but didn't ask for any facebook/email details. The thought of him contacting me is nice, but I don't think it would happen at all - and that's the first realistic thought of him I've had since he left.

[haxan]

so what's your advice then?

Janis, it was a fling with someone who lives half way across the world for christ sakes. Enjoy it and the memory for what it was and get on with your life. Stop e-stalking and find someone local to enjoy life with.

[namemyname]

Maybe if...we hadn't had that connection

Here's the rub. Only you felt a connection. He had a one night stand.

Honestly, if you're going to go so over the deep end like this, I strongly advise you to NOT be having casual sex in the future.