I'm really sorry, when I first started reading your post I wanted to say something positive, such as, I wouldn't have a huge issue with him cuddling her if it were a case of her being upset about something (nothing wrong with giving your best friend a cuddle when they're upset, regardless of gender, though obviously that shouldn't be happening in bed) but then as I read on... just no lol. Would he be cool if you said you 'cuddled' a guy friend in bed once a week as a matter of course? What the hell are they doing in bed together anyway?! Would he be fine with it if that guy friend came over to you and started touching your hair in that way? Bad enough that she has no respect for you at all but the fact that he let it happen is even worse. I doubt he would like it one bit if roles were reversed and if he says he'd be cool with it he's either looking to justify his own behaviour or he simply just doesn't care the way you thought he did. Either way your friends and family are correct, it is inappropriate contact, sorry but the only reason he doesn't agree with you is because he doesn't want to have to stop doing what he's doing.