Hi all, Ill keep this short and sweet and try to get to the jist.
I recently began a relationship with a man who I have worked with for 4 years. He is over a decade older than me but we have been great friends since we met and I don't believe age is an issue. When we first met he was married, but he has since left his wife and they are due to divorce soon. His wife is not angry/bitter, and i believe they both have agreed they want different things in life and are amicable, but as you can understand the situation is upsetting for both. They have met several times since we have gotten together and I have no problem with this.
However, I live at home with my single mother and a few months ago confessed that we had a relationship. She knows him and at the time said 'I don't think its a good idea, but when I was your age I wouldn't of listened to me either, and you're old enough to make your own decisions'
So far so good. I thought things were going better than expected (my mother is prone to amateur dramatics)
Anyway, after a slight falling out with my father over it a few months later, when I was upset my mother burst into a torrent of abuse. I was disgusting, a homewrecker, morally decrepit. I left the house when I realized I couldn't 'discuss' the issue with her like an adult (she had consumed alcohol, although sometimes the abuse comes without aid).
My mother texted me the next day saying as soon as my car was back on the road I was to move all my stuff out. She then texted saying she didn't mean it and she was sorry and I could come home whenever.
When I got home she sat me next to her and told me that she knew everything. EVERYTHING. Now I was confused. Turns out when I left the house the evening before she had went through my entire FB message history and read all my messages between several of my friends and also my boyfriend and I (as you can imagine these were fairly racy!).
She then proceeded to tell me mine and my boyfriends relationship was clearly Lust not Love according to the messages she had read.
She also said all my friends were idiots more or less. I let my mother use my laptop as I have always trusted her not to read anything she knows she shouldnt, now the laptop has a seperate user for her and a password on my side. She said she was 'not a snoop, FB was signed in so I just read it. I later checked history and she had spent several hours reading.
There is more to it than that, but I think thats enough to express my current situation.
The atmosphere has been tense since the incident, I have avoided the house as much as possible I suppose, but stayed pleasant. I feel I have lost both trust and respect for my mother. She didnt invade my privacy like this as a teenager, so why now when I had actually TOLD her the truth?
How do I get over this? I wont ever be able to bring my BF into the family because even he has lost respect for her. There is no need for her to KNOW the things she read about me. Why would my mother ever need to know what I like in bed? Jesus.