Going to Break up with my girlfriend.

[ajny56]

Hey guys. So based on a few of my previous thread you realized me and my girlfriend has some problems. I lost interest in her and I already made up my mind to break up with her.

Here is my issue. We are in a long distance relationship at the moment because we parted ways for the summer. We will see each other when school starts. I think it would be terrible to break up with her over the phone or Skype, so I rather wait a month for school to start. Because of this, I have been leading her on, telling her I miss her and how much I like her etc. I also want to wait for school to start because I decided to store all my dorm stuff at her house. If I break up with her it's going to be pretty awkward when I go to pick up my stuff and who knows what she would do to it.

So, I would just like some advice on what I should do. Should I keep leading her on and wait till I see her in person to break up with her. If not, how about all my stuff at her house. I feel terrible right now cause she likes me soo much and I cant handle lying to her. I just want it to be over. (And my stuff safely in my dorm room lol)

[billyking]

My advice and this is something I would not have said a year ago. My advice is to be pretty blunt and sharp with the break up. Not outright cruel but not nice and loving either. The aim is that she dislikes you after you say yiou are breaking up;

My ex broke up with me in the softest and sweetest way possible and we met many times afterwards. It just makes you love them more and all the harder.

It is bizarre but it is a lot easier if the dumpee hates the dumper and finds them cruel, nasty etc. You will be demonized for breaking up in a blunt and cold manner but she will be able to move on so much quicker and with a lot less pain.

[searock]

Dude, what you are doing right now is INCREDIBLY cruel and selfish. Stop leading her on ffs. Let her enjoy her summer holidays with hot dates and cute guys in swimming suits. Just tell her how you feel, there's no easy way to do it. I'm sure she isn't crazy enough to put all your stuff on the street or something.

[basilandthyme]

Yes, a face to face breakup is best. But a phone breakup is better than stringing her along till you can be together again.

[smackie9]

You are best to let her know now so she can have time to heal before she has to see you at school. Plus if you wait it will interupt her studies being upset by you bamboozling her for months because you don't have the balls to be honest about how you feel. IMO it's best to get it over with now instead of leading her on. Leading her on like that is way more cruel than breaking up over skype.

[ajny56]

Thanks for the advice guys but how can I break up with her after leading her on like that. She currently thinks everything is perfect and will be crazy confused when I drop the bomb. And I don't think she would take it lightly cause of her personality. Honestly, my friends warned me before dating her or any of her friends because of their childish nature but I did anyway cause lust was a strong drug at the time. Only after I started dating her did I realize that she treated the relationship like a little high school girl. She dumped all her dependence on me and I can't handle it. I'm also her first boyfriend and she is basically treating me like we're destined to get married. I need a more mature gf. I can't take it. Sorry about rambling off but how can I break up when she thinks its all at a perfect stage.

[searock]

You aren't more mature than her. You are handling this the worst possible way.

Tell her.

[smackie9]

Thanks for the advice guys but how can I break up with her after leading her on like that. She currently thinks everything is perfect and will be crazy confused when I drop the bomb. And I don't think she would take it lightly cause of her personality. Honestly, my friends warned me before dating her or any of her friends because of their childish nature but I did anyway cause lust was a strong drug at the time. Only after I started dating her did I realize that she treated the relationship like a little high school girl. She dumped all her dependence on me and I can't handle it. I'm also her first boyfriend and she is basically treating me like we're destined to get married. I need a more mature gf. I can't take it. Sorry about rambling off but how can I break up when she thinks its all at a perfect stage.

This is exactly what you tell her in an email so she will have time to go over it a few times. You can start it off by saying, "I have to be honest with you.......

She will go bat shit crazy for awhile, so give it time before you respond to any of her angry messages. She will need to get it out of her system for a couple of weeks, but she will have her parents to hold her down while she kicks and screams.