Should I move in with my boyfriend?

[basilandthyme]

Some peoples views of marriage are just jacked! "Free sex and cleaning"

It's simply an old fashioned viewpoint. The man gives the girl a ring and gets sex in return. I remember my mother telling me in the 1980's that if I gave a man all he wanted, he'd never marry me.....it's the same theory, but these days 'living together' is the carrot.

It all seems far too much like trading of goods to me really. And a bit manipulative to boot.

I ignored my mother's advice.

[TablesandChairs]

Back in the day, women needed marriage for financial reasons. They didn't work and a man was required to support them. In turn, they ran the household and looked after children. If they were on an equal playing field back then, chances are they would have taken their time with marriage and/or married for love, not necessity. This is the reason our great grand mothers were married before they were even 'women' yet.

Things have changed. Women have jobs, careers and are no longer reliant. When we get married, it's because we want to, not because we have to. We can take our time and ensure the man is worthy of spending our lives with. We also don't 'owe' him sex the moment he wants it and a cooked meal the moment he gets home because in all likelihood, we're at work too.

Most guys don't fake it; they simply don't marry the wrong woman.

[SqueamishPuppet]

Back in the day, women needed marriage for financial reasons. They didn't work and a man was required to support them. In turn, they ran the household and looked after children. If they were on an equal playing field back then, chances are they would have taken their time with marriage and/or married for love, not necessity. This is the reason our great grand mothers were married before they were even 'women' yet.

Things have changed. Women have jobs, careers and are no longer reliant. When we get married, it's because we want to, not because we have to. We can take our time and ensure the man is worthy of spending our lives with. We also don't 'owe' him sex the moment he wants it and a cooked meal the moment he gets home because in all likelihood, we're at work too.

Most guys don't fake it; they simply don't marry the wrong woman.

Yeah some people better at generalizing my views than I am. Haha

[Starnique]

I'm not getting why you feel the need to make these points. I know I don't care to be honest. For me, it's a personal preference. Me and my ex broke up for several other reasons and I didn't mind catering to my man. He did ask to marry me so it had nothing to do with a ring, for me anyway. I personally dont care to live with a guy or anyone else at this time in my life and just because it worked out for you don't mean that works for everybody.

[Starnique]

And there are several men who don't feel the need to marry if their getting it all for nothing. Just because you not that kind of guy or haven't ran across one don't mean they don't exist. Some women just want to be all up in their man face all day. I don't get that either. Damn, give him the opportunity to miss you and pursue you. Don't get me wrong, i'm not sayong anything is wrong with it but for me, I would rather be engaged to him and yes i'm going to cater to him and he going to take care of me because he put in work to get me and he want to make me happy.

[TablesandChairs]

I do sort of understand what you're saying...but in living together, my partner doesn't get it 'all' for nothing - he helps me, he cleans, he cooks (at times but lets call those experiments), he's supportive, he's by my side when I'm sick and all the rest. If ever I was in a situation where a guy *expected* me to be his house/sex slave, I'd end it sooner than I could tie my shoelace. I have a demanding job and a career I'm working on so I can't cater for a man (husband or not) all the time, nor have I been expected to.

You're after a more traditional set-up and that's okay but harder to come by in the 21st Century.